


An Imprint on the Bedsheets

by romanticalgirl



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, The Academy Is...
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-09 22:26:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2000238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything dies, and that's a fact. But maybe everything that dies someday comes back. </p><p>[not about zombies]</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Imprint on the Bedsheets

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot thank ENOUGH my amazing mixer and artist. SO AMAZING.
> 
> Mix - Deny the Dream of Wires by crowgirl (badelement@gmail.com) - found [here](https://www.sendspace.com/file/iuba2k) or [here](http://8tracks.com/teighcorbie/deny-the-dream-of-wires)
> 
> Art below by chimneythunder 
> 
> Please be sure to tell them how AWESOME their stuff is. Really. I'm super honored that they made such wonderful stuff for my fic.

Gabe knows he’s dreaming.

He has to be. There’s no other explanation for why he’s hearing William’s voice. It could be someone in the next office listening to one of the podcasts William made before...before, but Gabe’s listened to every one over and over until he has every word memorized. He can recognize them from just the differences in William’s voice, in the inflection in his words.

He scrubs his face with his hands and sits up. He’s been working too hard and for too many hours in a row. He pushes the intercom button. “Dana? I need coffee. Lots of coffee. Everything they have the cafeteria. And steal some from development. They have the espresso machine hidden in the cabinet.”

“Sir? There’s someone here to see you. And I think you’ll...You should come out here, sir.”

Gabe groans and pushes away from the desk. Dana knows him well enough that he knows she’s serious, because otherwise he doesn’t leave his office if he can help it. Not since...

Well, no point in thinking about that.

Suarez is standing at Dana’s desk and smiling, which is never a good sign. He and Blackinton in R&D are the best thing that Saporta Industries has next to him, but they’re also the people who give Gabe pause when he considers some of the things they can do. The things they’ve done that he’s had to step in and stop before they take over the world.

“Suarez. Tell me you have coffee.”

“Nope.” Alex grins, which makes Gabe twice as nervous. “Better.”

“Right now there is nothing in the world better than coffee.”

“I think you’ll change your mind in a minute.” He taps a button on his wrist and the door to the hallway opens and Ryland walks in. 

Only Ryland’s not alone.

Gabe takes a step back. “What the hell is that?”

“Not what,” Ryland informs him. “Who. Or is it whom? Whatever.” He shakes his head and steps aside, gesturing to the figure standing slightly behind him. “May I introduce Will-one-am. Though we just call him William.”

Gabe doesn’t move back any farther, though it takes a lot of restraint not to. He looks just like William, and Gabe doesn’t need to hear him speak to know he sounds like him. That explains the voice Gabe heard. “Who...who the _fuck_ authorized this?”

“Asher signed off on it, but it was Urie who brought the idea to us. He’s been working with nanotechnology and artificial intelligence. He’d had a breakthrough and...are you not happy about this?” Suarez frowns. “But...”

“Get that thing out of my office.”

“I’m not a thing, Gabe.” It’s William’s voice down to the slight hint of a Chicago accent, the careful pronunciation that he practiced to curb his stutter. 

“You’re also not William. Get out of my office. _Now_.” Gabe points to the door and he’s proud that his hand doesn’t shake, because he feels like the rest of his body is going to fly apart. He doesn’t watch them go, just turns on his heel and disappears into his office.

He hasn’t broken down in almost a year, but he sits at his desk and buries his head in his hands. Gabe buried William a year and a half ago, but now there’s a _thing_ in the lab wearing his face. He needs a drink.

“Dana, hold all my calls and cancel my four o’clock. I’ll be at a bar somewhere.”

**

The jury had sent William’s murderer to die. Gabe hadn’t cared by the time it happened. He’d been numb since the day he’d ridden in the ambulance and William had bled out on the way to the hospital. Gabe remembers how it felt to hold William's hand so tightly until William’s grip was grew lax. He’d still held on until the hospital, when they’d taken William away, rushed him into a room so the doctor could look at him, come out with an expression of sadness or boredom, and tell Gabe what he already knew.

Security had captured the guy before he’d gotten out of the reception area, tackling him over the buffet and sending the alcohol burners under the chafing dishes scattering. There were burns and the curtains had gone up in flames, but Gabe heard about it in the aftermath, meaningless words that people told him between apologies and condolences.

He’d buried himself in his work after they’d buried William in the ground, only leaving after the office was quiet and dark, slipping out to find the nearest bar and drown himself in vodka or whiskey or whatever else he could drink before the bartender would inevitably call Pete to pick him up.

This time, he cuts out the middle man and calls Pete on the way to the bar. “Did you know what Suarez and Blackinton were up to?”

“No. Are they up to something?”

“Not anymore, because I’m either going to fire them or kill them. I figure I need at least one vodka to choose semi-rationally.” He can hear Pete’s keyboard clicking and sighs. “You’re not going to find it in the system, Pete. Even if it’s in there, it’s under another name.”

“I can look and see what they’re working on. Oh, hey. They’re working on that new prototype? I thought you were going to give that to Ernie and Bert.”

“Andy and Adam.”

“Same thing.” Pete keeps clicking. “Okay, you’re right. I don’t see anything. What did they do? Blow something up? Cure cancer? Discover life on Pluto and they’re pissed that they’re no longer on a planet?”

“You remember the nano-AI technology we put aside when the Way organization bought out Cybertech and we figured they’d push ahead on that front, so we refocused on biodiesels and reducing global warming?”

“Yeah. They were supposed to bring out the next best thing since the Jetson’s maid Rosie. And then there was the scandal and they closed everything down. Severance packages were decent, and we got a lot of good people from them. Alex and Ryland weren’t part of that group. They shunned them, if I remember right.”

“Well either they stopped shunning and talked to someone or they figured it all out for themselves.”

“They’ve created a viable AI?”

“I don’t know what the fuck it is, but it’s wearing William’s body.”

There’s silence on the other end of the line and Gabe can feel his breath catch in his chest. Pete’s his security and the fact that he hasn’t said anything means either that he knew all along or he has some serious holes in his building coverage net. “What?”

“I walked out of my office and William walked in. Not William. William’s dead. That...thing walked in. Called me _Gabe_. Spoke with his voice.” Gabe’s voice cracks. “William’s dead, Pete. And apparently he’s decided to fucking haunt me.”

“He’s not haunting you, Gabe. He has no reason to haunt you, and you know that. I’ll talk to Ry and Alex. I’ll figure out what’s going on. Why they’ve done this.” 

“I don’t care why, Pete. I want it gone. Destroyed. Take care of that for me.” He disconnects his phone and pulls into a parking area, his car sliding easily into one of the micro-spots. One of the advantages of owning the company is being able to customize things to his height so he can still manage to use the products they create, practicing what he preaches. That was something William always insisted on, something he would never let Gabe back away from.

William was all about ethics. Which is why that thing, whatever it is, is going to cease to exist, and Gabe’s not going to think twice about being the one to pull the plug.

**

They’d met when William was presenting his PhD. Gabe had been asked to sit in with the review board to listen to him. Less asked than informed that he should and would do it by Asher. Gabe trusted her judgment, so he’d gone and sat at MIT, bored out of his mind listening to defense after defense. And then William had walked in.

Gabe never believed in love at first sight, and meeting William certainly didn’t change anything about his views on that. But Gabe understood lust and desire, sharp angles and promising curves, smiles and shadowed eyes. Victoria had ground her heel into Gabe’s instep and he’d actually focused on William’s theory, lust suddenly taking a back seat to whatever it was that got Gabe to start his company in the first place. The other kind of desire. The one that drove him to make the world a better place.

“Why didn’t I know about him before this?”

“I knew about him,” Victoria had reminded him. “That’s what you pay me for. Besides, he wasn’t about to leave without his degree, so we’ve got the first shot at him. I have a meeting set up for dinner. I’ve taken the liberty of clearing your schedule.”

“I knew I hired you for a reason.”

“You hired me for a lot of reasons, but when you found out I wouldn’t sleep with you...”

“I don’t sleep with my employees.”

Victoria had looked William over before looking back at Gabe. “Why do I get the feeling you’ll be revising that policy soon?”

“He’s not my employee. And he could still say no.”

“You just heard his defense. You’re one of the few ethical companies out there that even come close to supporting what he’s proposed here. Don’t pretend he won’t be working for us before he officially receives his degree.”

“I do have some measure of self-control, you know.”

“You do remember who you’re talking to, don’t you?” She’d shaken her head and stood up, all class and business, but dangerous in spite of it. “Because you don’t fool me a bit.”

She’d been right. He’d known even before they’d been seated for dinner that he wasn’t going to settle for William being his employee. There was no way he could stop with just that. William had been his conscience, his anchor, and his lover. Not necessarily in that order, though he knows that’s the order of importance William would have given them. Did give them.

William had been just as important in them dropping the AI division as the Way buyout. He had a host of ethical questions, which is why the creature in Alex and Ryland’s lab is even more of an abomination. A rape of William’s personality, of his core beliefs.

He’s not sure where in the course of reliving everything that he gets drunk, but he jolts into sobriety when Pete shoots an injection of pure oxygen into his system. Pete’s there and paying the bartender. Gabe still feels hazy, probably something in the smoke filling the small room.

“Come on.” Pete presses a hand into the small of Gabe’s back. “Let’s get you home.”

“Did you take care of it? Of everything?”

“No more business, Gabe. You know the rules.” Gabe’s car is already hooked up to Pete’s, the magnetic hitch working as well as it did in the initial test phases. “Do you want to go home? Or crash at my place? I can have the service send you over a new suit.”

Home. Home is his bed and his walls and his cold, impersonal life that’s been stripped clean of all reminders of what he’d had just a couple of years ago. “Your place.” He closes his eyes and tilts his head toward the ceiling. “I don’t want to go home.”

**

He wakes up before Pete and his suit is already in the delivery chute. He showers under the ultrasonic pulse and dresses, not bothering to do anything with the dark ghost of stubble on his chin. He uses his key fob to unlock the magnetic hitch and starts his car as he walks into the garage. It purrs softly, barely making a sound. Gabe hits the switch to Pete’s garage and drives out, cueing the sensor to close the door behind him.

The building isn’t exactly silent. There are always people working in the labs and offices, communicating across continents through all hours of the day and night. But the main floors are mostly quiet, geared for local business. He nods at the security guard and heads toward the elevators, scanning his key card to take him to his offices. Instead of pushing the button for the twentieth floor, he hits the one for the sub-basement. The labs are spread out like hutches in a hamster habitat, white hallways dividing up the tinted glass of the rooms. Gabe can tell which range of projects are involved based on the stripes of color above the key pads if not by the light filters that change the colors of the glass.

Alex and Ryland’s lab is separate from the smaller ones. They tend to handle the highest level of secrecy where projects are concerned, knowing what’s happening and the direction of the company before the stockholders. They’re his chief prototype creators and the ones who push the limits of everything to find the answers Gabe demands.

The lab is quiet, and Gabe can imagine that they’d left in a hurry after his outburst the night before. He knows better than to touch anything, so he walks around looking at their data, scribbled on glass boards, and the kinetic models that move when Gabe moves past.

“They’re not here.”

Gabe stops in his tracks, though he can feel his heart pounding in the base of his throat, can hear blood roaring in his ears. He turns slowly and the _thing_ with William’s face is leaning in an open doorway, legs crossed at the ankles and arms crossed over his chest. Gabe’s achingly familiar with the pose.

“They said they’d never seen you that angry. That they’d misjudged the situation. That they should dispose of the experiment. Of course, they were the ones that created me based on someone with an IQ of over 180, but it didn’t really take a genius to figure out they were talking about me. So I disposed of them.” Gabe’s head whips up and William’s laugh fills the room. “You really think those two would create cyborg technology and not build in Asimov’s laws of robotics?”

“Where are they, then?”

“They went out to get very, very drunk. Shit-faced was, I believe, their technical term. Actually royally fucking shit-faced. They felt bad.” He - _it_ , Gabe reminds himself – walks further into the room, cutting the distance between him and Gabe. “He meant a lot to you. This one. William. Me.”

“You’re _not_ William.” Gabe’s voice comes dangerously close to breaking, but he clears his throat and composes himself. “I don’t know why they made you the way you are, but...”

“Because part of me is him.”

 

“No. He’s dead. I saw him die. I _buried_ him.”

“No.”

“Don’t fucking tell me _no_!” Gabe knows he’s shouting, but he doesn’t care. “I was there! I saw him bleed to death. I saw the EMTs pump shit into his system to try to keep him alive long enough to get to the hospital. William _died_.”

It nods. “You are right. I did die. But you didn’t bury me. You buried someone, but it wasn’t me, Gabe.”

Gabe roars and launches himself at him, tackling him to the ground. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing, doesn’t have a real thought or plan. He just wants to destroy the thing, beat the face he loves until it’s unrecognizable and he can’t see William. 

Hands eventually catch his wrists and pull him back, twisting his arms behind his back. The red haze over his vision dims slightly and he can vaguely see the outline of that thing shifting back, moving into a sitting position. Its hand moves up, pressing against the corner of the mouth, wiping away a streak of blood redder than Gabe’s vision.

The pounding in Gabe’s ears fades enough that he can hear Pete’s voice trying to get through to him, to calm him down. He shifts, but Pete’s grip on his wrists is like steel and Gabe knows that even the height difference won’t work to his advantage. Pete is _good_ at his job. “Let me go, Pete.”

“No.” Gabe turns his head and sees Pete staring at the thing on the floor in front of them, propped up against one of the lab tables. There’s the hint of a black eye on the high, sharp cheekbone and still a small trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth. “Hey, Bill.”

Gabe jerks at the words, but doesn’t manage to free himself from Pete’s grip. It smiles up at Pete, more of a grimace really. “Hey, Pete. Long time no see.”

“Being dead puts a damper on the social life, I guess.”

“Yeah.” This time it’s a real smile, and Gabe can read the pain in it. “A little bit.” It glances at Gabe and then back at Pete. “You took good care of him.”

Pete nods and smiles back. “I met with a whole fuckload of resistance.”

“Really?” The slow, sarcastic drawl hits Gabe like a punch in the stomach. It’s too much, too real. “He’s usually so easy to handle. Like a pit viper or a cobra.”

Pete laughs. “Yeah, well. You’ve got to have a special touch. And a tazer.”

“Let me go, Pete.” Gabe can hear the crack in his voice and closes his eyes. “Now.”

“Gabe...”

Gabe snaps his head toward Pete. “ _Now_.”

Pete exhales slowly and lets him go. Gabe moves past him, ignoring the thing on the floor. “Gabe.”

“Do your job, Pete.”

“No.”

Gabe glances back, and he knows how dangerous he looks. He feels dangerous. “It’s already dead, Pete. Finish the fucking job.”

“I didn’t kill the man who shot him, Gabe. You think I’m going to kill him?” Pete shakes his head. “You really think that? Because if you do, maybe it’s time for me to start drawing unemployment.”

“There’s no such thing anymore.”

Pete rolls his eyes and flips Gabe off. “Quit being a fucking pedant. You know what I mean.”

Gabe turns to the thing and then closes his eyes and looks away. “Tell Ryland and Alex we need to have a talk. And _they_ might need to look into unemployment too.”

**

He knows he needs sleep, but there are several things desperately needing his attention in his office, so he goes back to work. He stands in the bathroom adjoining his office for a long time, watching the blood on his knuckles disappear down the drain. It had been red and hot, just like human blood. It cracked along the knuckles of his hand after it dried, a darker red than before. Gabe smells his wet hand and can still sense the metallic tinge of it.

He dries his hands and goes back to his desk. He rubs his face roughly with his hands and sinks into his chair. There’s a vise at the base of his neck, squeezing tightly. Kicking his chair back, he stands up, strides over to the wetbar and pours himself a whiskey, downing it in one swallow. The microphone buzzes and Dana’s voice comes through. “Mr. Saporta, Mr. Blackinton and Mr. Suarez are here to see you.”

Gabe takes a deep breath and rubs the back of his neck until he thinks he can talk without emotion in his voice. “Send them in, Dana.” He bends his neck to both sides, listening to the satisfying crack. He’s in the middle of another deep breath when the door opens, and he’s careful to let it out slowly and deliberately. “Gentlemen.”

Ryland steps forward and clears his throat. “Pete suggested we come and see you.” They both stay several feet back from his desk, not moving forward at all, not coming close to the chairs opposite him.

“Sit.”

“We’d rather...”

Gabe cuts him off. “ _Sit_.” They both sink into the chairs, perched on the edge of the seats. Ryland opens his mouth to speak and Gabe shakes his head sharply. “I don’t want excuses. I don’t want explanations. I want the truth. Unvarnished and in great detail. Because according to that thing down there, he’s not a clone grown in some fucking petri dish. He’s not a detailed robot. He’s a cyborg. And if that is the case, you’re going to have a very rousing discussion with our legal and ethical departments before I kick you both out on your asses.”

Ryland opens his mouth then shuts it, glances at Alex and then clears his throat. “It’s something we were working on before William died. He’d talked with us about it. Expressed his concerns. Tried to help us figure out a way that we could make it work. We’re not talking Robocop here. Signed consent just like with organ donors.”

“Are you suggesting that William _consented_ to this?”

“Not...not exactly. He said we’d need a test subject. Someone who understood the project and someone we respected who we’d treat...properly. Do right by them, he said. So we figured it would never happen. And then it did.”

“I saw him _die_.” Gabe slams his fist into the table. “I buried him.”

“Not exactly.” It’s the first Alex has spoken, and it takes all the all the willpower Gabe has not to go over the desk. “You buried part of him.”

“What Alex means,” Ryland jumps in before Gabe can lose his temper completely, “is that we kept a portion so that we could actually engineer the body around it.”

“What did I bury?” Each word is like the strike of a hammer, and Ryland and Alex flinch with it.

“His...abdomen. Mostly.”

The chairs tip over as Alex and Ryland both bolt for the door, Gabe coming after them in a fit of rage. He wants to get his hands on both of them, give their families something to bury. They make it through the door and Gabe comes to a stop as Pete and three other guys step in front of it. Gabe rises on his toes to see over the guards. “You’re both fired, and if you’re not off the premises in ten minutes, you’ll be in jail for trespassing!” He backs up a step when Pete pushes him back into the office, breathing hard. “I see you again I’ll kill you _both_.”

“Gabe. Stop screaming.”

“Fuck you, stop screaming.” He shoves away from Pete and kicks one of the chairs scattered on the floor. “Fucking...they...they took _pieces_ of him, Pete. They took pieces and...and...” He sinks down on his knees, bending forward and burying his face in his hands against the carpet. “I buried...god, I didn’t even bury him. I...”

Pete touches him very carefully on the shoulder. “I know. I know this is a shock to your system. Let me have a driver take you home. Stay away from the office for a few days.”

Gabe knows he means ‘go away so you don’t murder our best scientists.’ Asher’s his next in line for presidency, so he knows he’ll leave everything in good hands if he’s sent up for murder. He’s not sure how long he’d last in prison, but he thinks it might be worth it to find out. “I’m not leaving, Pete.”

“Yes. You are. I’m pulling rank.”

“You can only do that if you’re a higher rank that me.” There’s a hint of hysteria in his voice, a broken laugh he can’t quite control.

“I’m the one with all the weaponry. That’s like rank.” He puts a hand on the small of Gabe’s back. “Come on. I called your dad. He’s waiting at your house. I think he’s already cooking something. Go home.”

Gabe nods, feeling defeated. “It’s not him.”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

**

Diego is in the kitchen just like Pete predicted. He’s chopping up vegetables Gabe’s pretty sure he didn’t actually possess and he’s humming softly to himself. He greets Gabe when he comes in, not bothered when he doesn’t get an answer. It was like this for six months after William died - Diego trying to keep him in one piece by not giving him room to fall apart.

He’d been the one to pack up William’s things while Gabe threw up in the bathroom. All Gabe could see for weeks was the red splatter as the bullet hit William. No one used bullets anymore, preferring weapons that did just as much damage, but more discreetly. This one had been loud and messy. The shot had reverberated thought the banquet hall and everyone had been screaming. Gabe had been screaming.

William had been silent.

Gabe shakes his head and grabs a beer out of his refrigerator. He drains half of it in two long swallows, exhaling roughly as the cold numbs his throat. “Papi.”

“Mijo.”

“I’m not hungry. I’m going to bed.”

“I’ll make a plate for you.”

“Did Pete tell you?”

“He told me you are in pain. That is all he needed to say.”

Gabe nods and lifts the beer to finish it off. “I am. I didn’t think I could feel this hurt again.”

“It’s a different hurt, Gabriel, because you are not the same. But you’ll survive it. That is what you do. You are too stubborn not to.”

“I wish I wasn’t sometimes.”

Diego comes over and holds out his spoon for Gabe to taste. He leans in and does, smiling at the familiar flavors of Diego’s home cooking. “We all wish that we weren’t because pain takes something away from us. But it gives us something too.”

“I didn’t get anything when William died. I just...lost. Lost him. Lost myself. Lost my heart.”

“No.” Diego taps Gabe’s chest. “It is still in there. It is quieter now. Hibernating. Waiting for spring.”

“I don’t want another spring. I want...I can’t have what I want. What I want is gone.” He steps back and tosses the bottle into the recycling chute. “Goodnight, Papi.”

**

Gabe stays away from work for a week, though he doesn’t actually stop working. He keeps a constant line open to Dana as well as Asher and Rob, the company’s lawyer. If that thing is still in his building, he needs to know what he should expect. William’s family is still around. His sister is especially likely to take offense. Gabe considers telling her, but somehow the thought of actively sharing this feeling with someone who loves William as much as he does makes him physically ill.

He lets Pete know when he’s coming back so he can warn Ryland and Alex to stay out of his way. Gabe’s day is too busy to actually do them any harm, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. He has meetings all morning and a lunch tour for some of the Russian stockholders. His afternoon might have time for maiming, but he’d have to check with Dana to be sure.

The meetings go as well as he expects, and the tour ends early, so he takes his guests to the cafeteria. Gabe hasn’t eaten here for years, because it holds a score of memories. He glances to his left out of habit. The room is full, but Gabe sees William sitting at his usual table. He’s looking out the window and sunlight is glinting off his dark hair, shadowing his eyes.

William had always eaten in the cafeteria and Gabe had teased him about the food, but mostly he was always frustrated that they weren’t alone in his office. 

Victoria follows Gabe’s gaze and picks up the conversation, guiding their guests toward the executive area. Gabe cuts his eyes to her and then weaves through the cafeteria toward William’s table. He can feel the employees watching him, and he doesn’t want to know what the memo explaining William’s return from the dead had actually said.

“Did someone tell you this was his table, or is it programmed into you?”

“I have a cybernetic spinal cord as well as nano-created nerves that feed into the organics.” William doesn’t look at Gabe. He recites the words in a monotone, which should make him seem less human, but instead makes him seem worn out. Sad. “My colon and intestines are partially a silicone composite since the bullet effectively destroyed my right side. My liver is regenerated from my own cells and enhanced with additional nano-tech. My gall bladder and appendix were sacrificed to the cause. The only thing programmed into me is the neuro-synapses stimulators that remind my body how to react to mental impulses. Walk. Sit. Use my arms. There are a few blank areas from the short time of lack of oxygen, but they got me going fast enough that there’s not much.”

“They kept his body alive.”

“No. They kept _me_ alive.”

“You’re not him.” He hisses the words as he sits down, leaning in so that he’s looking William in the eyes, looking for the machine inside him. “You’re a laboratory created construct wearing a face you don’t deserve.”

“It’s my face, Gabe.”

“Don’t you _dare_ say my name.”

The sigh that earns him is so familiar Gabe can’t breathe for a moment. How many nights? How many arguments? How many debates? How many of those sighs that led to an entirely different kind of sigh, frustration turned into satisfaction?

“I still have my memories. I can tell you the first time we touched.”

“That’s public record.”

“I can tell you the first time we deliberately touched. Touched with intent. I can tell you the first time we kissed. I can describe every moment of it. Our first date. Our first kiss. Our first fight. The first time we--”

Gabe interrupts him. “We haven’t had a first time. Well, I guess we had our first fistfight. And to be honest, I’m perfectly happy with that being our very last first.”

“Then why are you here? Sitting here?” There’s a sharpness to William’s voice, a mask of sound that doesn’t quite hide the hurt in his tone. “If you can’t stand to look at me or talk to me or acknowledge me, why are you here?”

“I’ve talked with the company’s lawyer.”

“I know who Rob is. You can call him by name.”

Gabe ignores him, not looking at him. “We created you, so you’re our legal responsibility. You have no rights or legal existence, but propriety and what we actually owe William’s legacy seems to mandate that we have to act ethically in this.”

“Which means?” His voice is tight and Gabe can see the familiar flash of anger. Everything is familiar, and it just makes him even angrier.

“You’ll be moved from the lab to company housing. You’ll receive a stipend for living expenses. You will come in for monthly check-ups to make sure all your parts are properly lubed and oiled. You cannot drive a car. You cannot own property. You do not exist beyond the realm of the Saporta Corporation. And if I or any of my people sees you out in the real world, for lack of a better phrase, you will be terminated immediately. No questions asked. No reprieve. Understood?”

“And here I thought you were against animal testing.” William stands up. His posture is stiff, and Gabe knows that so well. Knows him so well. “You can have Dana relay the information to Ryland and Alex. I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.”

“I’m sure they can find you a nice grade of motor oil down in the lab.”

William shakes his head, huffing a disgusted laugh. “What the fuck did I ever see in you?”

“And that’s even further proof you’re not William,” Gabe snaps. “He never had to ask that question.”

He stands up and steps in front of Gabe. They’re almost the same height, so he’s looking Gabe right in the eye. There’s fire in his gaze. He smells like William. Gabe could almost believe if he didn’t know the truth. “I know it hurts. You know how I know? Because all I could think about was being with you. The rest of it didn’t matter. Working. All the other things that come with life. All I wanted was to be with you again. And you look at me like I’m disgusting. A _thing_. And that kills me more than that bullet ever did. Keep your company housing and your stipend. I’ll tell Ryland and Alex to take me apart and give you something to bury.”

He starts to walk off and Gabe grabs his arm, jerking him back. “You are a thing.”

“Maybe so,” William bites back, his voice sharp and hurt. “But at least I have a heart, which is more than I can say for you.”

**

“Fuck off, Pete. I’m not drunk,” Gabe yells at his closed office door. He can hear Pete muttering through the open link on Dana’s desk and he has to try really hard not to laugh when Pete finally jimmies the door only to find out there’s a chair in front of it. Of course, the laugh’s on Gabe when Pete opening the doors reminds him that they swing outward. “Shit.”

“What the actually hell is wrong with you?” Pete’s voice is slightly higher than normal which is the only outward sign that he’s angry. “You punched him _again_.”

“He pissed me off.”

“ _In the cafeteria_.”

“He really pissed me off.”

“Three of the people from marketing fainted. Woke up swearing that you’d destroyed their belief in true love.”

“Jesus. Dana! Put out a company-wide memo that that _thing_ is not William Beckett. It is not the former employee of this company. It is not, in any way, shape or...shit. Wait. Just tell them it’s not him. It’s Ryland and Alex’s sick idea of a joke.”

“Yes, Mr. Saporta.”

Gabe thumbs off the intercom. “She’s not going to do it, is she?”

“No.”

“Tell me again how I’m CEO?”

“I’ll tell you whatever you need to hear.” Pete pushes Gabe into his seat and holds up a microdrive. “I made Ryland and Alex give me their research and their notes. You know how they are. Fastidious and love to hear themselves talk, so there’s a lot of information. And it’s just a copy, so don’t think that destroying it is going to change anything.”

“I don’t care how or why they did it, Pete.”

“Okay. Okay. But no more assaulting anything, okay? Scientists, techs, experiments, people. You’re making me look bad.”

“I’m above the law.”

Pete raises an eyebrow and Gabe can tell he’s gone a step too far. “No. Actually you’re not. And I’d appreciate it if you’d remember that, because next time I’m going to have to do something about it, and I really don’t want to be seen dragging you through the hallways with you screaming ‘Attica!’”

“You’d make Marcus drag me.”

“I mean it, Gabe.” He sets the microdrive on Gabe’s desk and shakes his head. “I’m taking him off campus to the housing units. He doesn’t want to go anywhere with any of us right now. He wants to take off, and you know I can’t let him.”

“Poor thing. Literally.”

“He didn’t ask for this, Gabe. And even if he did ask to come back...he didn’t ask for it to be like this. For you to feel the way you do. For him to still feel the way he does.”

“He doesn’t feel!” Gabe knows he’s shouting and doesn’t care. He doesn’t care if everyone hears. “He is a fucking robot, Pete. Terminator. Blade Runner. A fucking Cylon. He is not _real_.” Pete stands there, taking the assault. Gabe stops, breathing roughly. “He’s not real.”

“A 1978 bottle of Henri Jayer Richebourg Grand Cru.”

“What?”

Pete shrugs. “That’s what was waiting for you at home that night. He bought it. You were going to celebrate by drinking wine that cost more per bottle than I make in six months. It was in a silver box wrapped with royal purple ribbon.”

“Shut up.”

“He asked me about it. I was cleaning him up and he asked me if you ever drank any of it. I told him I’d never even heard about it.”

“Shut up, Pete.”

“He said I should ask you.”

“ _Shut up_.”

Pete nods and blows out a breath. “He’ll be in South Main. There’s a group of apartments open. I thought I’d take him to look and see which one he likes. I’ll file a report once he’s chosen so you’ll know where to send his checks.”

“Pete...”

“Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure he has no intention of bothering you again.” Pete shakes his head. “You’re richer than I thought.”

Gabe blinks, confused. “What?”

“To be able to afford to turn down a second chance with the love of your life.”

**

He has Dana cancel all of his meetings for the next three days and goes home, immersing himself in the information on the microdrive. The research goes back several years, back to before the Ways got into the business, and there’s a gap between then and when their company dissolved. Ryland and Alex are several years older when the second segment starts, but just as childlike in their discoveries.

The information picks up as the technology catches up to their ideas, and they spend hours with simulators and computer programs working to integrate technology with organics on a grand scale. They’re in the middle of arguing about something – how far gone is too gone to attempt a revival and where the line between resurrection and Frankenstein’s monster begins – when William interrupts them.

Gabe has to pause and stare at the screen. The picture is no more William than the thing they created in the lab was, but it is somehow. It’s him when he was alive, when he existed. He restarts the segment and closes his eyes, listening to William’s voice. Gabe can see him, even without looking. He can imagine the concerned and determined look on his face. Every concern he expresses makes Gabe that much more convinced that Ryland and Alex did something morally and ethically wrong in creating the pseudo-William in their lab.

“What you’re talking about is reanimating a dead person with cybernetics and organic tissue.”

“Not exactly,” Ryland interrupts William. Gabe can hear the respect in Ryland’s tone. Everyone respected William. “If a person is dead, then we wouldn’t do anything. If there’s a certified brain death, then we don’t _want_ to even try to reawaken them. It would be pointless. Instead of an active brain in a bed-ridden body, it would be the opposite. What good is a body without an active mind to control it?”

“There’s no way to be sure that you won’t receive someone with a damaged brain.”

“This isn’t ‘Young Frankenstein,” Alex throws in from across the room. “We’re not gathering brains from a lab. We’re talking about...someone critically injured in a car accident. Someone who won’t survive otherwise, but with our modifications, have another chance at life.”

“But maybe they shouldn’t.” William takes a sip of his tea and looks from one to the other. “Who has the right to decide that? I mean, we have enough of a population problem as it is given that people are living into their hundreds these days.”

“The same can be said for doctors who try to heal their patients.”

“Doctors are required by their oath to help any and all people who come to them for aid.” William takes another sip, his eyes averted, which Gabe knows means he has a winning blow in the argument. “Is that what you’re proposing? Anyone who can ask for it can have it? Anyone who checks the ‘cyborg’ box on their organ donation card? Are you playing Darwin? Playing God?”

That ends the second segment, and Gabe gets a drink before he sits down to the next one. Alex and Ryland are showing William the steps they’ve taken to reduce the costs but not the effectiveness of the procedures. They’re outlining the parameters of possibility – the Blackinton scale of acceptable damage. For every scenario they present, William offers a counter-argument. Gabe enjoys the looks of annoyance on Ryland and Alex’s faces. William’s sharp and picks apart their strategies, making them hone them to certainties. No questions. Nothing left to chance. Everything in black and white. No shades of gray.

Gabe’s impressed, but he’s also annoyed as hell. All of this was going on without his knowledge. William knew about it and didn’t share it with him. A major step in a different direction for his company and he was left deliberately and completely in the dark. He double checks the time stamp on the session, trying to remember what he and William had been doing at the time. If he’d missed any signs that these meetings were taking place.

Nothing comes to mind. He stops the playback and leans back in his chair, tilting his head toward the ceiling. He curls his hand around his glass of whiskey and takes a drink, his mind too muddled to enjoy the burn. He pushes play without looking, and is startled to hear Alex ask the question that’s been haunting the back of Gabe’s mind.

“Why haven’t you told Gabe?”

William chooses his words carefully. Gabe knows the speech pattern. It’s partly to control his stutter that threatens at the most inopportune times and also to make sure he’s saying what he means. “It’s theoretical at this point. And it’s not as if we can ask for a volunteer to test the theory. Robots, androids. We can make those things without any kind of testing. A cyborg requires a human. A consenting human.”

“We could test it on...” Ryland stops talking at the glare Alex gives him, not to mention William’s raised eyebrow. “Right.”

“Besides, you create a cyborg bunny, you’ve got some serious Monty Python shit going on.” William leans back in his chair and rubs his temples, setting his glasses askew. “So the theory is nice, but there’s no way to realize it.”

“Unless we kill someone.”

William raises his eyebrow at Ryland again. “I know you’re not actually proposing that we murder someone to further your scientific goal. And before you say anything, grave robbing is out as well.”

“They’re too dead if they’re already buried.”

“Embalmed too,” Alex adds.

“Promise me you aren’t going to murder anyone. _Or_ arrange for their murder.” He points at each of them in turn. “I hear about any hit men on the payroll and you’re both fired.”

“Can we play around with the stem cell nerves? Work on hooking up the cybernetics?”

Alex bats his eyelashes. “Pleeeeeease, Mom?”

“You do anything even remotely questionable, and I’ll tell your father.” William smiles and Gabe feels like he’s been punched. “I don’t even want to think about what he’d do to you.”

Gabe has to turn the sessions off and get up and walk around. He finishes his whiskey and paces, considering calling Pete. Pete’s angry at him, or as angry as Pete gets anyway, so he wouldn’t want to talk. He’d listen, but Gabe’s not sure that’s what he needs.

He leaves his office and goes into the living room where his dad is sitting on the couch watching a telenovela. Gabe stares at the screen, not even bothering to try and pick up the storyline. Diego reaches for the remote and pauses it, the actor caught in the middle of some overdramatic gesture. “Mijo?”

“William’s dead.”

“I know that, Gabriel. My memory is not what it was, but I’m not quite that far gone.”

Gabe shakes his head. “But he’s not. Not exactly.”

“Now you have lost me.”

Gabe sits down in the chair near the couch. The TV is out of his line of sight, and he doesn’t have to look at Diego if he doesn’t want to. If he can’t. “Two of my scientists salvaged him. What was left. Most of him. I buried an empty coffin, Papi.”

“I’m afraid I still don’t understand.”

“There’s a division of my company that specializes in medicine. Furthering the field through the study of mechanical replication of human function. Livers, lungs, hearts, kidneys. When the body fails and transplants aren’t an option, we can provide a long-term temporary solution.”

“Long-term _and_ temporary?”

“Machines fail in time. We encourage people to continue pursuing a transplant if that’s an option. Most of them don’t, but...we offer programs to help them find funding and options for treatment. Most hospitals use our resources to follow up with their patients. Fine-tuning the function of the machine.”

“That is very noble of you.”

“It makes me a lot of money.”

“But that’s not why you do it,” Diego states matter-of-factly.

“No,” Gabe agrees. “That’s not why I do it.” He rubs his eyes with his fists, feeling like a child again. “When William died. When he was shot, they...I don’t know how they did it, but they got his body from the hospital and...worked on it. They probably just went to the hospital with the equipment and worked with the surgeons. We have people on staff there. Microsurgery. Connecting organics – William’s body – to the machines. A functional spinal cord. New liver. Rewired his nervous system.”

“So he is a machine?”

“Part machine. Cyborg.” He laughs at the absurdity of it. “Not quite human.”

“But part human. His mind. His heart.”

“Not William.”

Diego nods and frowns at the television before turning it off. He shifts in his seat so that Gabe has to look at him. “If he had been one of the people that needed your machines to survive. Your long-term temporary solutions. A new heart. A new liver. A new lung. Would he still be William? Or would he be a machine?”

“It’s not the same.”

“Not the same degree, no. But the same.” He’s quiet for a long moment. “He did not tell you this was going to happen?”

“I don’t even know if he _knew_.”

“You have not asked him?”

“I can’t look at him. I can’t have a rational conversation with him. It. I can’t. All I see is William, and I know it’s _not_.”

“Gabriel, I understand your hurt. To lose someone you love is a terrible thing. And for them to let you think you had lost him is perhaps even worse, but to not want to foster false hope...I understand that impulse. It has been a long time. Perhaps they did not want you to know in case it failed. In case he was lost.”

“He _was_. He died. He was holding my hand and he died.”

“Did he? He flatlined? He was not revived?”

“There was all this blood. All his blood. They took him into surgery. They let me see him. He was _dead_ , Papi.” Gabe takes a shuddering breath. “He was dead and that thing can’t be him. But...but it bleeds. I’ve seen it bleed. Made it bleed.”

“Violence.” Diego shakes his head and leans back against the couch, giving Gabe a reprieve from his intense gaze. “Have you talked to him? You would know your William, wouldn’t you? Or have you perfected a brain transplant so that he would have his memories?”

“I wouldn’t put anything past Ryland and Alex right now.” Gabe buries his face in his hands. “I have their research. I haven’t finished with it.” He doesn’t look up. “I’m afraid. Afraid that it’s true.” He finally does meet his father’s eyes. “Afraid that it’s not.”

“I think you know what you must do, Gabriel. That is what you’re fighting. Not this William.” Diego looks away from Gabe and pushes play on the remote. “Go finish your research. Perhaps you will find your answer there.”

Gabe touches Diego’s shoulder as he moves behind the couch back to his office. He pours himself another glass of whiskey and sits down, taking a deep breath before he starts the playback. William’s voice jerks his attention away from his glass, and when he looks up, the camera is focused on him. Gabe pauses again and stares at him. He’s too thin, working too hard. There are circles under his eyes, but his smile is wide and bright. Something aches in Gabe’s chest and he takes a deep swallow of his drink before starting it up again.

The next three segments are more arguments, challenges from William that Alex and Ryland have to answer before they can proceed to the next steps. The fourth starts without William in the lab and the loud pop of a champagne cork. Ryland turns the camera, which he’s not supposed to do, and toasts it.

“Today we drink and be merry.” He swallows down his entire glass of champagne. “The first organic test is today and so far it all works. The synthesized nerve endings are attaching and synapses are firing. Electrical stimulation is producing reflex action. The cybernetic threads are woven in and the initial scan shows that they don’t come up on X-ray or sonar readings. We’ll test it with a simulated spinal cord later, but so far we’re pretty damn excited.”

“Oh, shit.”

Ryland looks over his shoulder then back at the camera. “Whoops. Later.” He twists it back into position then disappears out of sight. Their voices are muttered, but Gabe can tell things are going wrong by the raised voices when they curse at the containment unit. The tape records hours of their progress and lack thereof, and when they come away from it for the night, the celebration is clearly over.

“Tomorrow.” Alex’s voice is tired and drained, hoarse from all the talking they’ve done. “We start again.”

Ryland turns out the light.

**

Gabe doesn’t sleep. He skips large chunks of the research, moving toward the last of the files. Discussions with several of the doctors on staff at the hospital, with William. There’s dubious agreement that the next near death organ donor will be held in stasis if possible until Ryland and Alex can get to the hospital. A host of necessary equipment will be stored on site. William wants signed consents, and they agree on John Does. Well, William doesn’t agree, but Ryland argues they won’t get involved in suicide attempts and most people would sign retroactive consents because most people don’t want to die a horrible death.

William makes them draw up a consent form anyway and signs off on it, telling them that he’ll hold it in reserve and not give it to Rob unless the situation arises. Gabe looks at the time stamp on the file. It’s almost a year and half before William’s death, and it’s the last file on the drive. He assumes there’s more, but he also imagines it’s more of the same.

He looks at his watch and stretches. The night’s gone and it’s nearly time for him to be at work. He goes into the kitchen and starts the coffee then heads to his room to shower. He shaves carefully and takes extra care as he dresses, smoothing his pale green shirt under the charcoal gray jacket that matches his slacks. He stares at his selection of ties then forgoes one altogether.

Diego’s in the kitchen when he comes in again, already pouring Gabe a cup of coffee. “You spoil me.”

“I cannot take care of you forever, so I will do it while I can.” He sips his own coffee and leans against the counter, looking Gabe over. “You look very nice. Business-like. Never how I pictured you growing up.”

“When I was growing up, you probably imagined that I would end up in prison.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. Perhaps under suspicion for a host of indiscretions.” He smiles and holds out his coffee mug. “To a child who exceeded my expectations.”

“Thankfully you had very low expectations.” Gabe clinks their mugs together with a laugh. “I am grateful to you, Papi. For so much.”

“It was my pleasure, Gabriel. You have been a very good son. Perhaps more trouble than you were worth from time to time, or so it seemed, but you’ve ended up worth it in the end.” Diego takes a sip and looks down into his mug. “You are going to see him?”

“No.”

“It is the only way you will find the answers to your questions. Files and recordings don’t tell you everything. You know that. I know you are afraid. But knowing is so much better than this. If it’s true, then you have him back. If it’s not, then you know for sure. Guessing and second-guessing yourself isn’t living. And you, mijo, you insist on living.”

“What if I’ve been wrong?”

“Then you will grovel at William’s feet. You have practice at it, from what I understand of your relationship.”

Gabe can feel the blush burn his cheeks. “Papi!”

“I meant asking for his forgiveness, Gabriel. I do not wish to know what you _think_ I meant.”

“Oh my god.” Gabe takes a quick drink of coffee, hiding his blush behind his cup.

“Go on. Go to work. You have the world to change.”

“Not on Tuesdays. On Tuesdays we just have meetings.”

“Meetings about what?”

Gabe laughs and tugs his father into a hug. “Changing the world.”

**

The Saporta Corporation is very good about keeping its employees safe and comfortable, so Gabe walks along the complex streets until he finds the main single housing division. There are several off-shoots that lead to family homes, but the group of apartments is centered around the hub of activity – grocery stores, bars, clubs, shops. It’s a neighborhood more than a city, linked to the greater suburb via a community gate. He waves at a few of the employees he recognizes, trying to convince himself to keep going to the building he’s supposed to be heading for.

He stops at a bakery and picks up half a dozen of William’s favorite – sugar cookies with soft white icing and sprinkles. It’s a stupid test, but it’s the small things that would trip someone or something up. The little things that William didn’t mention to most people. Things Gabe found out by accident.

He knocks on the door and waits, tugging his jacket down so that it lays properly, nothing out of place. The door opens, and it’s like a sudden wave of memory dragging him beneath the tide. 

William’s wearing black jeans that have faded to gray, a white t-shirt, and a burgundy sweater. His black glasses are down a little too far on his nose, and his hair is mussed like he’s just climbed out of bed. Gabe’s seen him like this hundreds of times. Thousands. “Oh, god.”

William’s eyes widen and he takes a step back. The light changes, and Gabe can see the bruise high on William’s cheek from where Gabe hit him. On instinct, Gabe reaches out to touch the darkened skin, shaking his head to snap himself out of it as William jerks back. “Mr. Saporta.” William pushes his glasses up and angles his body away from Gabe’s. “My understanding was that I was going to be left alone at this point.”

“I’d...I’d like to talk. Actually talk.”

“I’m fairly certain you’ve made it clear you don’t want to hear anything I have to say. I really have no intention or desire to make the rest of our lives miserable. So you go back to your office building, and I’ll stay here in my own private cell. Everybody wins.”

“God, you’re a smart-ass.”

“I’d tell you you’d known that since the day you met me, but...well. I guess it applies to both times. Though that’s the bone of contention, isn’t it?”

“May I come in?”

“You own the place. Who am I to say no?” William steps back and bows, waving Gabe into the apartment. It’s nothing fancy, the perfect size for one person. “I hope it meets your standards.”

“Given up on any pretense of liking me, huh? I guess I deserve that.” Gabe finishes looking around and turns to William, holding out the box of cookies. “Peace offering?”

William opens the box and raises an eyebrow. “Let me guess. I’m supposed to praise you for remembering what I like? Or am I supposed to act all confused and tell you I don’t like these so you can better fit me into the box labeled ‘Not William’? Though anyone who doesn’t like these cookies has no soul, whether they’re all human or not.”

“That’s what William used to say. Minus the dig at cyborgs.”

“Yes.” His voice is dry as dust. “I’m aware.”

“Right. Right. Sorry.” Gabe shoves his hands on the pockets of his slacks and rocks up on the balls of his feet and then back down. “May I sit?”

“Sure. You want something to drink? The place was supplied with tea and coffee and water.”

“Coffee? If it’s not too much trouble. And a cookie?”

“Forget it. The cookies are all mine.”

Gabe smiles, the words and the voice so familiar. It still hurts, but he was expecting it this time, so it’s not the shock to his system it has been. “Maybe just half of one?”

“You should have brought you own.”

“To be fair, I _did_ bring them.”

“For me.” William disappears into the kitchen and Gabe gets up, moving to stand in the doorway. Everything feels like instant replay, deja vu. “I assume you have a reason for coming here.” William isn’t talking as if Gabe were in the other room, which means he knows Gabe has moved closer. “And since you haven’t thrown a punch yet, I’m guessing it’s not to finish the job you started in the cafeteria.”

“My dad suggested I talk to you.”

“Diego?” William turns around, a warm smile on his face. “How is he? Has he been taking his blood pressure medication? Is he still dating Margaret?”

“Maggie went the way of the dinosaur about the time she insisted that he call her Maggie. You know how Papi is. And he tries to get out of taking it, but I pull the ‘physician, heal thyself’ stuff on him. Remind him that I’d--”

William cuts him off. “Be lost without him.”

“Yeah. Guilt is a strong motivator in my family.” Gabe moves further into the kitchen, straddling one of the stools at the counter. “What do you remember?”

“A lot of things. You want to be more specific?”

“About that night.”

“Ah. The hard questions right off the bat.” William sighs and sets Gabe’s coffee in front of him, then leans back against the opposite counter and sips his tea. “It was late, but the party was in full swing still. You were talking to Tyler and Heath from that Houston company. They were being assholes about everything, trying to get you to pay more for something.”

“Like always.”

“I don’t think anyone saw him come in. He was dressed like a waiter. I remember the screams. I remember the sound of the gun going off. I remember pain flaring through me like a million needles. I remember looking down as I went down. Seeing blood stain the tattered remains of my shirt. And then I don’t remember anything until I woke up.”

“You don’t remember the ambulance?”

“I remember feeling you. I kept that with me. When I woke up I could still feel you. Your hand in mine, holding on so tightly.” William reaches out, the same hand Gabe had held for the ambulance ride that had felt like hours, even though it wasn’t long enough. Wasn’t enough time to hold him or to say anything that he needed to say. William drops his hand then wraps it around his mug. “Expecting you and then opening my eyes to Ryland was really a shock.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Not until I saw Ryland. And then I...suspected. I didn’t know for sure. Everything was hazy. Blurry. Uncertain. When I realized what had happened, I wanted to see you. I assumed you knew. That you’d sanctioned it. When they kept trying to divert me, I figured it out.”

“I didn’t know.”

William laughs roughly, something understandably bitter in the tone. “I figured that out pretty quickly. Your face said everything rather eloquently. Anyway. Before that, I made them show me what they’d done. Step by step. They recorded it all, including the surgery. It’s strange listening to people talk about you like you’re not there, though I guess I wasn’t for the most part. Machines keeping my heart pumping, my lungs inflating. Watching parts get replaced by plastic and metal. Skin grafted to fake skin. Like they were building me from the ground up.”

“Did they say why they...why they let me bury...”

“I don’t know. They probably didn’t think they could do it. To give you closure? To keep you from killing them? And part of me is dead. Buried. Original parts traded for spare.” He looks at Gabe for a long time. “You believe me now.”

“I don’t know what I believe. I know what I want to believe, because believing it means I get another chance with you if you’ll take me. It means that you’re real and alive and I can touch you. I can...” Gabe takes a deep breath and puts his head on the counter. “My dad told me, in not so many words, that I was being an idiot. That it’s no different than an artificial heart or liver. I mean, other than the fact that I was pretty sure you were dead.”

“I’m sorry.”

Gabe looks up. “For what?”

“For what you went through. I can’t imagine what it must have been like. I can’t even fathom what it would be like to lose you. How it would feel.” William shakes his head. “I guess I did lose you. I just didn’t know it at the time.”

“Knowing didn’t make it easier.” Gabe takes a deep breath and finishes his coffee. “I thought you were gone, and I...I got rid of your things. Most of your things. I’m sure Papi kept them for me to go through at some point. I can talk to him. See if he still has them. Get them to you.”

William nods, his brow furrowed. “I’d appreciate that.”

“You’re not him.” Gabe rubs his mouth with the palm of his hand. “I mean, you are. You obviously are. But you’re different. I’m different. Neither of us is who we were two years ago. A year and a half ago. That night.”

“No. I suppose we’re not.”

Gabe can see the hard swallow as he stares at William’s throat. “Would you like to come back to work?”

“Would you like me to? I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you.”

“Before you were anything else, you were one of my best and brightest employees. I’m not going to turn my back on that. You’re still legally dead though, so the same rules would still apply.”

“Like I said. My own little cell.” William takes his tea cup to the sink and rinses it out, his back to Gabe. “If you could find out if your dad has my stuff, that would be great. Clothes to wear. My books. That sort of thing. I’ll ask Tom to send me the relevant work files, assuming you put him in charge of the R&D program.”

“I split it between him and Carden. Two different ideas, two different approaches. It’s gone well. I mean, there’s been some clashes, but for the most part it’s worked out.” Gabe stands up and walks around the counter, standing behind William though not too close. “I feel like I should apologize.”

“Why?” William doesn’t turn around at all. “You’re not the one who went and got himself killed.” His voice is thick, catching on the words. “It’s been a year and a half for you. No one could expect you to stand still.”

“William.”

“Don’t.” This time his voice breaks and he shakes his head. “Please, don’t. Just go back to thinking I’m an it. A machine. I’m not him. I’d rather you hate me than not love me.”

“I do love you.”

“No. Not me. Not this me. I’m a ghost.” He turns around and his eyes are bright, though no tears stand in them, nothing more betraying his feelings. “You love William. And he’s dead.” He nods and averts his eyes. “You can show yourself out.” He reaches for the box of cookies and pushes them toward Gabe. “Take these with you. Please.”

Gabe takes a step back and nods, reaching blindly for the box. “I’ll tell them to expect you at work.”

“First thing tomorrow.” He takes Gabe’s coffee cup and puts it in the sink, turning the water on and letting it run. Gabe watches for a moment then closes his eyes and turning to leave. He listens for another sound, but doesn’t hear anything else as he shuts the door.

**

Gabe makes sure the people who need to know are aware that William’s coming back to work, and he reinstates his security clearance. He steers clear of any areas he thinks William might be and tries to focus on the projects that have been suffering from his lack of attention. He works late holed up in his office but he keeps tabs on the whole operation, receiving daily reports. Conrad or Carden deliver them for William’s department and it’s almost back to the way it had been the past year and a half.

Except Gabe knows William is there.

He doesn’t monitor his computer use or his time card, except he checks in every day to see what hours he’s working, and in that it’s like it was two years ago. Long hours and late nights, cafeteria food and constant research. He manages to last a month before he calls Carden and Conrad into his office and sits them both down across from him.

“I haven’t had to pry you two from each other’s throats lately.”

Mike shrugs and leans back in his chair. “That’s what Beckett’s for, right?”

Gabe exhales roughly. “How is no one else fazed in the slightest that he came back from the dead?”

“We’re a cutting edge company that has a division that specializes in medical research,” Tom informs him, deadpan. “And we have a boss that insists on us figuring out the impossible on a regular basis. I’m surprised that we didn’t figure it out sooner.”

“I hate you all.” Gabe leans back in his chair. “So you’re all working together well. No problems?”

“Other than the fact that Beckett works us harder than you do?” Mike shrugs. “Nope. He’s got us divided into work groups among projects. Tom oversees half, I oversee half. It’s working pretty well. We answer to him and he tells us what to say to you at the progress and board meetings.”

“Good. That’s good.” Gabe gets to his feet and goes over to his window, staring down at the campus below. “Have either of you noticed anything odd or concerning about him or his behavior?”

“Other than just being Beckett?” Mike glances at Tom and then shakes his head. “No.”

“All right.” Gabe waves his hand back toward them to dismiss them. “Thanks.”

“You could talk to him,” Tom says. “It’s a thing people do.”

Gabe doesn’t answer, waiting until the door shuts behind them to turn around. His head hurts nearly as much as the rest of him aches. He presses the intercom and waits for Dana’s acknowledgment. “Ask Beckett to come to my office, please.”

There’s a pause before Dana speaks, and it says volumes. “Yes, Mr. Saporta.”

“Christ, woman. Would you _please_ call me Gabe?”

“No.” She disconnects and Gabe growls low in his throat as he throws himself into his chair. He stays there, glaring at his telephone on his desk until there’s a knock on the door and William comes in. He’s wearing a pale blue shirt, a darker blue vest and a pair of jeans.

“You asked for me?”

“Sit.”

“Yes, sir.” There’s enough disrespect in it that Gabe doesn’t take offense as William sits across from him. He’s relaxed, and it pisses Gabe off for no reason at all. William crosses one leg over the other and settles back into the chair. “Was your meeting with Tom and Mike not detailed enough about what projects we’re working on?”

“It was fine.”

“They’re both working hard. They work well together most of the time. I really like the ideas we have coming out of their work groups.”

“I really don’t care.”

Both of William’s eyebrows go up. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, of course I care, but I know you don’t accept anything but the best from your people, so I’m not concerned.”

“Then why am I here? I have work to do. Work to catch up on.” He puts his hands on the arm of the chair to lever himself out of it.

Gabe curses under his breath. “Have dinner with me.”

William stops mid-motion. “Excuse me?”

“Have dinner with me tonight.”

“I have work to do.” William gets to his feet and nods stiffly at Gabe. “I appreciate the invitation, but to be honest, I think us spending any non-work related time together is a bad idea. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a project that I’m in the middle of and I’d like to get back to it.”

“Of course.” Gabe stands up as well. “I look forward to your report.”

William stares at him for a moment then turns to go, leaving the doors open behind him. Gabe falls back into his chair and groans, slamming his head back into the pillowed headrest. He raises his voice and yells toward the front office. “Dana!”

“Yes, Mr. Saporta?”

“Tell Pete we’re going drinking.”

He can hear her sigh even without the intercom. “Yes, Mr. Saporta.”

“It’s _Gabe_.”

“Yes, Mr. Saporta.”

**

“D’you think they gave him a cyborg dick?”

Gabe takes another drink and shakes his head. “He already _had_ one. Like, he could fuck like a machine. Always ready to go. Shit.”

Pete stares at him for a minute. “Seriously?”

“No!” Gabe starts to take another drink and finishes the whole glass instead. “I mean, yes. Except for the cyborg part.”

“Huh.” Pete signals the bartender for more drinks. “And you want to see it in action again.”

“No. Yes. No. He’s not William. I mean, he is, but he’s William from before and I buried him. I put all that behind me. I moved on. And I can’t go back, so I can’t...I don’t know. Be with him.”

“Except you want to.”

“He’s the goddamned love of my life, Pete. _Yes_ , I want to.” He waits for the bartender to pour him another shot then drinks it down, setting the glass out for a refill. “But he was dead, and I moved on.”

“Not really.”

“What?”

“I mean, you kept living, but you didn’t really move on. Remember when Victoria tried to set you up on a date?”

“Not being ready to date doesn’t mean I haven’t moved on. I cleaned out the house.”

Pete scoffs a little. “Your dad did that.”

“I moved on.”

“Okay. Okay. You moved on.”

“I _did_. I started going to functions. I kept attending meetings. I’ve gone to Russia, for fuck’s sake.”

“I said okay.”

“Except I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Is this going to go to a fantasy place, because if it is, I need more booze.”

“Bullshit, you little voyeur.”

Pete giggles and finishes his drink anyway. “Well, yeah. Okay.”

“He doesn’t want anything to do with me, which I get. I mean, I was a complete and utter dick to him. But I want...I miss him. I miss him every day, Pete. I’ve _missed_ him every day. And now he’s there, within reach, and I...I fucked it up.”

“You’re protecting yourself. You’ve changed. What if you don’t love him anymore?” Pete looks at his drink, avoiding Gabe’s eyes. “You’ve changed. What if he doesn’t love you?”

Gabe drains his glass again. “It’s selfish to rather he be dead loving me than living and maybe not even like me, right?”

“Yeah. But human too.” Pete rubs at the ring of condensation on the bar. “Wondering what if is human too. And living without knowing.”

“You think I should ask him out again?”

“I think you’ll drive yourself a little bit crazy if you don’t.”

“And if he says no?”

Pete nods. “Well, at least then you won’t be wondering anymore.”

**

Gabe wanders into Ryland and Alex’s lab unannounced. Alex sees him and appears to look for exits. “Don’t worry. I’m not down here to cause harm. Just checking in on what else you’ve decided to do without authorization.”

“Nothing! Everything has gone through the proper channels.”

“Mmm. Given that your proper channels involve your last experiment, you understand if I’m a little dubious.” He glances at the glass boards, his eyes skimming over equations and nearly undecipherable squiggles. Pointing at one, he shakes his head. “You forgot to carry the three.”

Alex flips him off from a computer stand on the opposite side of the room. “We’re not working on anything today. Ryland’s putting William through his monthly physical.”

“Where?”

“I’ll only tell you if you promise not to beat anyone up.”

“How about I promise not to fire you?”

“If you beat him up, our readings will be completely useless and our data compromised. If you fire me, you’ll still be right where you are now. Your choice.”

“I promise not to beat him up. I make no such promises in regards to Ryland.”

Alex twists his mouth into a half-grimace and then shrugs. “Fair enough. Lab seven.”

“Which one is that?”

“The green one, two corridors down.”

“Thanks. Don’t blow anything up.”

“I haven’t done that in ages.” Alex goes back to his computer, tapping the screen and frowning. Gabe shuts the door to the lab behind him and heads to the right, moving deeper under the building. He can hear the sound of running right before he turns the corner, and figures he’s close. He turns another corner and sees William through the glass, hooked up to monitors and running on the treadmill. Ryland’s watching the readouts and marking a graph on the tablet in his hand.

“How’s he doing?”

Ryland starts, nearly dropping the tablet. “Jesus, Gabe. He’s fine. I’m about to have a heart attack though.”

Gabe makes a non-committal noise and peers through the glass. It’s muted with the green tint, but he can see faint lines on William’s body that he assumes are surgical scars. “Does he have an access hatch?”

“Sort of. There’s a flap of skin on his back that covers up the CPU for the non-organics. You can’t see it with the naked eye. We didn’t want it to be easy, you know?”

“What do you do for the monthly exam?”

“Memory tests, coordination tests, physical tests. We have to make sure everything’s working in concert. The biggest tests are the reflex ones. His spinal cord was the trickiest part. A lot of damage to the remaining nerves and a whole lot of nerves that were completely obliterated. Getting them to graft to his spine and actually work took most of the time. We almost gave up at one point.”

“But you got it to work.”

“Yeah. We had to circumvent one of his neural pathways that kept trying to react to the phantom nerves instead of the non-organics. That’s why we do the memory tests. We need to make sure that we didn’t damage any of the other brain functions like memory. He’s reacting properly emotionally so far, so that’s worked out. In a lot of ways we have you to thank for clearing all that up.”

“Glad I could help.”

A buzzer goes off and Ryland taps on his headset. “Okay, William. Go ahead and sit down.”

“Are you going to shock me again?”

“Not this time. And even if I was, I wouldn’t tell you. But you’re expecting it now, so it’s lost all its amusement factor.”

William flips him off and then glances at Gabe. “Come to protect your investment?”

“No. Just curious. Apparently they get up to a lot of stuff I’m not aware of down here, so I thought I’d better keep a closer eye. If I don’t there’s likely to be clones or something next time they come into my office.” He tilts his head to the door. “You mind if I come in?”

“It’s your company.”

“Right, but I’d rather be allowed in.” William doesn’t say anything for a moment, but then he nods. Gabe opens the door and walks inside, sitting down in a chair beside another computer monitor. They sit in silence for several moments before Gabe clears his throat. “Pete said he saw you the other night.”

“Yeah. He was downtown for Marcus’s birthday party. I ran into him when I was coming out of the coffee shop.”

“Quiet at your place, huh?”

“Yeah.” He laughs softly. “I don’t mind the quiet or the solitude most of the time, but every once in a while I like noise. And, even though I don’t drink it, the smell of coffee.”

“Were you writing?”

He looks wary as he nods. “Nothing much, but yeah. I got a new notebook. Seemed wrong to write in the other one, though I appreciate your dad including it with my stuff.” He shifts on his seat and Gabe watches a random droplet of sweat trail down his chest between the wire leads. “Did you keep anything?”

“I had the notebook. I hadn’t opened it, but I kept it. Your thesis. Everything else just felt like things. You weren’t in them.” He looks up to find William looking at him. “They still hurt to have around. It felt too much like you’d come home any second and yell at me for moving the book you were in the middle of and losing your place. Or you’d come over to my closet and search around for your shirts because the dry cleaner kept getting them messed up with mine. I kept waiting for that. And finally I called Pete and he called my dad and they got it all out of there. I almost moved, worried that I’d still feel that way when your stuff was gone.”

“But you didn’t?”

“I did, to some extent. But then I just stopped spending time at home.” Gabe plucks at the crease of his pants with his thumb and forefinger. “I almost got a dog.”

“A dog?” William actually laughs and Gabe looks up. His smile and expression are beautiful. “You tried to replace me with a dog?”

“No! Not...not replace you. Just make it all not so empty.” Gabe has to smile at William’s grin. “Besides, I didn’t have you to put my cold feet against in the bed, so I needed something.”

“Pete stopped you, didn’t he? Said you weren’t home enough.” His smile doesn’t disappear, but it does soften. “And that your expensive Italian shoes wouldn’t survive.”

“Something like that.” Gabe leans forward and touches the back of William’s hand. He hears the sudden intake of breath, but doesn’t look at him, just traces the peaks and valleys of his knuckles. “I bought a heated blanket instead. Keeps my feet warm and I can curl it up on my lap and pet it.”

“That’s the most pathetic thing anyone’s ever said to me.” William jokes, but his voice shakes. He turns his hand over, palm up and Gabe grazes the sensitive skin with his fingers. “Gabe.”

Gabe closes his eyes. “Have dinner with me this weekend.”

“That’s a bad idea.”

“I know. Do it anyway?” He opens his eyes and looks at William. His eyes are dark and shadowed, and Gabe can’t read them. Or maybe he’s simply too afraid he’ll see rejection in them. “Just dinner.”

“That’s what you said the first time you asked me out.”

“It _was_ just dinner.”

“You neglected to mention that it was take-out Chinese eaten in your living room.”

“I promise to take you somewhere nice. And I promise to take you back to your place at the end of the night. I just want to talk. Without Ryland lurking and taking notes.”

“I’m not lurking. I’m doing my job.” Ryland says through his headset. “And you’re actually interrupting my tests with your social life. William, just say yes so we can get some work done, okay?”

William smiles at Ryland then looks back at Gabe. “When?”

“Saturday night? I’ll pick you up at seven?”

Biting his lower lip, William nods. “Saturday at seven. No go away before Ryland has a fit and makes me run on the treadmill again.”

“Wouldn’t want that.” Gabe stands up and heads for the door, glancing back and giving William a small wave. “See you.” He glares at Ryland as he comes out of the room and walks past him. “Don’t say a word.”

“Don’t have to. It’s all on record.” He points to the camera slowly circling the room. “I know what we’re showing at the next holiday party.”

“Me firing you?”

“Right. Back to work.”

“Good plan.” Gabe gives him a brisk nod and keeps walking, waiting until he’s well out of camera range to smile.

**

Gabe changes his outfit six times before deciding on the one he started with. William sent him an email saying he didn’t have any fancy clothes and could they maybe do something a little less high class, and Gabe agreed. Less formal was always more their style anyway.

He stares at himself in the mirror and brushes his hair back with his fingers. It messes up the style a little, but it makes him look slightly undone, more relaxed. His black jeans are almost faded to gray and his white shirt is an old favorite, softened by hundreds of washings. He wonders if it’s fair play, because William’s seen him in this outfit so many times. He also wonders if it’s a test. It might be, but he’s not sure what he’s testing for – whether William is really William still or whether or not he’ll say anything or what. Maybe he’s testing himself to see if it feels familiar.

He knocks on William’s door at seven and stands there, feeling nervous. He’s not even sure if William will answer the door. It seems like forever before he hears the lock click and then the door opens. William’s wearing a pair of faded jeans and a blue and white striped oxford shirt. He looks so much like exactly who he is that it hurts. “Oh.”

“That doesn’t actually seem like a good noise.”

“It is. I mean, no. It is. It’s...it’s hard sometimes. To see you.” A look of hurt flashes across William’s face, but it’s gone so fast Gabe isn’t sure he didn’t imagine it. “Not...I’ve lived without you for a year and a half. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and you’re going to be gone again.”

William reaches out and touches Gabe’s jaw, fingers so light against his skin. Gabe groans under his breath and fists his hands tight so that his nails dig into his palms, keeping him from moving. “Gabe.”

Gabe clears his throat and steps backwards. “Come on. I promised you dinner.”

“Right.” He grabs his keys and locks his door, falling in step with Gabe as they head downstairs to Gabe’s car. “Dare I ask where we’re going?”

“I’ll tell you if you want to know.” He’s forgotten what it was like to have someone who could match him stride for stride. “Or I can surprise you.”

“The last time you surprised me we ended up in Australia.”

Gabe laughs. “God, I’d forgotten. The _look_ you gave me. ‘Gabriel, I have an important meeting in two days, and if you think you’re going to distract me from getting all my information together, you are sorely mistaken.’ You were so pissed.”

“I didn’t lie.”

“Fortunately it was a long flight.” He grins at William, almost surprised at how easy it is. “I promise there is no international travel in your immediate future. I’m too hungry to wait to get to another country. Even Mexico and Canada are too far.” He presses the button to unlock his car, the doors easing open.

“You’re such a show-off. Is this the newest model?”

“Yeah. Thirty percent more efficient, quieter, and requires less electricity. Mike pushed it through hard after you...after everything. I’m riding around in your legacy.”

“I don’t want to know the model name, do I?” He gets in the car, pushing the seat back and stretching out his legs with a satisfied hum.

“They’re just numbered now. In-house we call it the WEB.”

“Let me guess, the slogan was ‘get caught driving’.” William’s eyebrows are hidden by his bangs and Gabe shrugs. “Mike or Tom?”

“One of the new people, actually. Hayley. She’s our new marketing head.” He shifts and steers his way through the gates into the city proper. William looks around, and Gabe’s not sure if it’s to keep from looking at him or if William’s cataloging the changes. “I suppose I should ask if you want to go somewhere familiar or somewhere new.”

“Nothing’s familiar anymore.” His voice is soft and carefully neutral. “You’d think eighteen months wouldn’t be that long, but when you don’t live through them it’s forever. I mean, I was alive, but not living. No one’s who they used to be except me. Well, for certain values of me. There’s a lot of me that’s not me at all.”

“Are you sorry it happened?”

“I don’t know. People look at me like they’re not sure what to think. Someone asked me if you had figured out how to impregnate men and sent me away to have our baby. Which is clearly ridiculous, because you’d bear our children, not me.”

“Hey!”

“Other people look at me like I came back from the dead. Still others look betrayed because they were _told_ I was dead, and I’m obviously not. Even people who seem to accept it are wary. Except Pete.”

“Pete takes everything in stride. It’s his greatest asset.” His hands are tight on the wheel and he forces himself to ease his grip. “What are the good things about it?”

“Well, I’m not dead.”

Gabe huffs out a laugh. “I guess really that’s the big one, isn’t it?” He pulls into the parking lot of a pizza place and stops the car. “Someone told me they have pretty decent pizza here. You want to give it a try?”

“Do you promise not to order any weird shit on it this time?”

“I _had_ to try it.”

“It was disgusting.”

“Yes, but I had to try.” Gabe gets out of the car and waits for William to do the same. “It could have been amazing.”

“And it turned out to be amazingly bad. Cabbage, lima beans, and red peppers.” William shudders. “The least you could have done is order me something to eat too.”

“What if it had been good? You would have wanted half.”

“There is no way in hell I was going to want half of a pizza with lima beans on it, _which I told you_. You’re just lucky we went through the drive-thru later.”

“I promise. Nothing strange on the pizza. Cheese and veggies. And meat on your half if you want. Hell, you can even have a salad and a drink.”

“Wow, Mr. Saporta-”

“Gabe.”

“Gabe.” He smiles. “You’re quite the big spender.”

“I like to show people a good time. You know what? Let’s go crazy and get cheesy breadsticks as well. _With_ extra sauce.”

“I hope you don’t think spoiling me is going to get me to put out. I’m not that kind of guy.” He glares at Gabe’s stifled laugh. “I’m not.”

“As I recall...”

“You don’t recall. There is no recollection going on. In fact, if you recall anything, I’m going to punch you.”

“There’s no bionic arm going on though, right? Ryland would have told me if there was a bionic arm.” Gabe realizes he hasn’t stopped smiling since they got out of the car. “And you totally put out the first night.”

William jabs Gabe in the stomach. “It was really good Chinese food, okay?”

“Really?” Gabe shakes his head. “The food’s not what I remember at all.”

**

William actually forgoes meat on his pizza, but he does make Gabe get two orders of breadsticks. They run out of marinara sauce, but never out of things to talk about, and before Gabe realizes it, it’s nearly midnight, and the restaurant staff are glaring at them, albeit discreetly. “The natives are getting restless. That’s probably because they closed an hour ago, mind you, and is completely legitimate. Think we should go.”

“Probably.” William stands up and waves to the staff. “Everything was amazing. Thank you.”

“Yes, thanks.” Gabe puts a sizable tip on the table and waits for William to walk past, his hand hovering over the small of William’s back though he’s careful not to touch him. They go out to the car and Gabe doesn’t want to take William home, though there’s nothing else he can suggest that doesn’t seem forward. Neither of them speak until Gabe cards them through the gate. “I had a great time.”

“That’s because you didn’t end up in the bathroom throwing up dinner this time.”

“Can we drop the cabbage pizza thing?” Gabe groans. “I learned my lesson. I promise.”

William’s mouth twists in a little smirk. “All right. All right. I’ll stop. I promise.” Gabe pulls the car to a stop outside William’s building. “This is me, I guess.”

“You were right. In the restaurant.”

William turns to him. “What do you mean?”

“Everything was amazing.” His eyes drop to William’s mouth then he shakes his head, refocusing his gaze. “I had a really nice time.”

“Me too. It’s funny. We’d been a couple for so long, I’d kind of forgotten that we actually managed to end up friends as well.”

“I missed you.” His voice hitches and he has to clear his throat. “Everything about you. My friend. My coworker. My partner. All the big things and all the little things. And it killed me when I thought you were dead. And it killed me seeing you again.”

There’s a long silence before William speaks. “I’m not sure what you want from me. Do you want me to go away? Do you want me to stay? Am I William or not-William in your head?” He’s staring out the windshield very deliberately not looking at Gabe. “Because if you’re just trying to figure out if I’m acceptable or if you still...To me, it was like yesterday. Being with you. Loving you. I know that it’s not easy for you. I know to you I was dead. I know you’ve moved on. But...for me. It’s like waking up and finding out that the person I fell asleep with last night suddenly doesn’t want to be near me. I woke up and you were gone. Only I still see you. Walking around and living your life like I never existed.”

“That’s not true. None of that is true.”

“It is for me. This isn’t fair to either of us. So maybe you were right in the first place. Maybe I need to just not exist in your world. I’ll work from home. I’ll stay out of your sight, your world. Because I can’t do this, Gabe. And a night like tonight where...where all those memories are right on the surface hurts more than anything else. Because to you they’re distant memories, but to me they’re not. My wounds are fresh and yours have scabbed over.” He shakes his head and reaches for the door handle.

Gabe leans across him and puts his hand on William’s to stop him from opening the door. “Despite the advances my company has made in science and technology, I’ve never had to deal with my partner pretty much coming back from the dead. I don’t know how to do this either. I’m trying to figure it out just like you are. But...for what it’s worth, loving you isn’t something I used to do. It’s something I do. Every day. No matter where you were, no matter whether you were alive or dead to me. I loved you. I love you.”

“You love William.”

Gabe turns to face William as he releases his hand and grabs William’s chin instead. “You _are_ William. I’ve known it since the beginning, I was just too scared to face it. I lost you once and the thought of you not being real or of losing you again.” He swallows hard. “I didn’t want to have to deal with that. To face that. I was afraid.”

“Do you think I’m not? Do you think I don’t look at you and think that you’re going to realize that you didn’t love me? You were free and all of a sudden I’m back and in your life again? The ex that doesn’t go away?”

Gabe’s fingers tighten on William’s jaw. “You’re not my ex-anything.”

William blinks up at him and Gabe relaxes his grip but doesn’t let him go. “You’re you. And I’m me. And we fell in love. We could do that again. Relearn each other. Rediscover each other.”

“Start over again?”

“Well, a little. I mean, we can’t unknow the stuff we know about each other. But we could go slow. Last time we sort of crashed head-first into each other.”

“That isn’t how I’d describe it.”

“I was trying to be polite.”

William smirks. “You’re starting that this late in your life?”

“Hey!” Gabe fingers tighten again just slightly. “Fine. I couldn’t wait to get into your pants. I couldn’t wait to pin you to the wall and see if your mouth tasted as sweet as it looked. I couldn’t wait to feel you against me.”

William licks his lips and Gabe barely stops his groan. “So you’ve learned restraint in the past eighteen months?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t been with anyone since you.” His eyes fall to William’s mouth once more. “Haven’t wanted anyone but you.”

“This isn’t slow.”

“No.” Gabe leans in and brushes his lips against William’s murmuring before he kisses him in earnest. His tongue slides past William’s lips and delves into his mouth. There’s a hint of pizza, spicy and sharp, and then there’s the taste of William himself. Gabe moans and slides his hand from William’s jaw to the nape of his neck, holding him still as Gabe deepens the kiss.

When he pulls back, catching his breath, William’s lips are parted and wet. “What...what did you say?”

It takes Gabe a moment to realize he’s talking about the words he said against his kiss. “I said ‘fuck slow’.”

“Does that mean you’re coming upstairs?”

“Not-” Gabe exhales roughly. “Not tonight. I’m guessing you’re not prepared for it, and I know I don’t have anything on me.” He kisses William again, quick and hard. “But soon. Definitely soon.”

“Oh.” William nods, still breathing roughly. “Right. That makes sense.”

“We could have dinner Tuesday after work after the department meeting. You could come instead of Tom or Mike. We could leave from there.”

“People are going to talk.”

“People are talking about you having my kid. I think them talking about us going to dinner is pretty tame in comparison, don’t you?”

“Well, when you put it that way.” William leans in and kisses Gabe, slow and lingering, biting Gabe’s lip lightly as he pulls away, tugging and then releasing it. “See you Tuesday.”

Gabe nods as William climbs out of the car, watching him until he disappears into his building. He sits there for a few moments longer then starts the car again and drives off. He tells the car to dial Pete, and doesn’t even wait for Pete to speak before he starts recounting the night, completely incapable of not smiling.

**

Gabe takes an inventory of what supplies he has at the house and realizes he got rid of everything after William died. He goes to the store and stocks up, clearing off two pegs of condom boxes, then spends the rest of the day cleaning the house from top to bottom. Monday is filled with a series of crises that require Gabe’s attention, so he doesn’t have time to think about the next night at all. Tuesday he’s distracted all day thinking about nothing _but_ dinner with William, so that even Dana’s convinced he’s useless. More useless than she normally does.

Gabe looks up as people filter into the conference room, nodding and smiling to all of them, though his eyes continually stray back to the door. Nearly everyone is in the room when the door opens and Tom Conrad rushes in. For Tom Conrad values of rushing which are more like ‘meandering.’ Something he doesn’t want to identify twists in Gabe’s chest. “I thought Beckett was going to be joining us today.

“He got caught up in something. Asked me to come instead.” Tom sits down and pours himself a glass of water from the pitcher on the table. “I promise I’m fully briefed.”

“Fine,” Gabe snaps. “Let’s get this started.”

The meeting lasts for two hours because marketing and PR get into a belabored discussion and they insist on soliciting everyone’s opinion. Finally Gabe has enough and ends it. Everyone looks at him warily, but he turns his attention to the agenda and finishes the last few points of business. He knows he’s being an ass, but he has Thai food being delivered in an hour, and he wants to be home to sign for it, even though it looks like he’ll be eating it alone.

He doesn’t say a word to Dana as he storms into his office, coming up short as William stands up. “You weren’t at the meeting.”

“No. One of the groups had a breakthrough, and I needed to be there to facilitate it and make sure it was all recorded properly. It’s one of the young crews, and I didn’t want to leave it to anyone else. It’s on the NASA project.”

“Oh.” Gabe’s irritation drains, filtering to a pool of anxiety in his stomach. “I may have been a little short with Conrad.”

William smiles. “I warned him.”

“So you still want to do dinner.” He doesn’t phrase it as a question, but it clearly is.

“Well, I am hungry.” He puts his hands in the pocket of his slacks and rocks back on his heels. It makes him look younger and flirtatious. “So I think I could eat. Yeah.”

“Let me get my jacket.” Gabe starts to walk to his desk, but William catches his hand and tugs him in, pressing their bodies together. Gabe closes his eyes and just breathes as William traces Gabe’s jaw. “Thought you were hungry.”

William’s tongue flicks across Gabe’s lips. “Thought I’d snag an appetizer.”

“Is that what I am?”

“No.” William’s voice is low and warm and Gabe feels it like whiskey running through his system. “You’re the entree.” He kisses Gabe slowly, his tongue warm as it slides over Gabe’s. “That was an appetizer.”

Gabe’s hand curves along William’s cheek. “You’ve got that all wrong, because I’m going to eat you up.”

“Somehow I think we can find a way to work this out to our mutual satisfaction.”

Gabe kisses him and pulls back so he can grab his jacket from his chair. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

**

He watches William look around the living room. Nothing’s really changed much, but Gabe can see there’s something in his face. “I ordered Thai. Hopefully being mostly dead didn’t change your favorites.”

“Not that I know of.” He walks over to the bookcase and runs his fingers over the spines. Most of Gabe’s books are in digital format and the hard-copy books were William’s. He liked the feel and smell of a book. It’s not until that moment that Gabe realizes he still has them.

“I didn’t even notice they were there.” His voice is as surprised as he feels.

“I figured when they didn’t come with my stuff you just didn’t keep them.” He pulls one of them out of the row. Most of the books are in pristine shape, but this one is slightly ragged around the edges. Gabe’s seen William curled up reading it dozens of times. He doesn’t even know what book it is, other than that it’s William’s favorite. “Can I take this one with me?”

“Of course.” Gabe wants to tell him no now that he realizes what it is, what he’s had all along. He should have read it, should have felt William beside him all those long, lonely months. “What book is it?”

“ _Gates of Dawn_. It’s a fantasy book. Comfort reading. Had it since I was a teenager.” He traces the embossed cover. “Thanks. For keeping it.”

“Yeah. Of course. Absolutely.” He takes a step forward then the door chimes. “That’ll be food. I’ll be right back.” He goes to the door and swipes his card for payment, taking the containers into the living room. William’s sitting on the floor at the coffee table, everything pushed to the side. “Some things never change, you freak.”

“It’s not my fault you insist on making every meal some formal affair with a table and plates and stuff.” William grins up at him. “Come on. It’ll be fun. Just like old times. Or, for me, a week ago Thursday.”

“It’s been longer than that.”

“Yeah, yeah. Gimme.” He reaches for the cartons and Gabe hands them over, sitting on the couch opposite him. William opens the first box and inhales then coughs. “This one’s yours.”

“Wimp.”

“I prefer not to have steam coming out my ears while I eat.” William opens the second box and smiles. “You really did remember.”

“There’s not a lot about you I’ve forgotten.” Gabe averts his gaze and digs his fork into his pad thai. “I made you tea every morning for about a week before it sunk in that you weren’t coming downstairs. Selective memory, I guess. Or just denial.”

“Hey. No talk about death tonight, okay?” William ducks down so he can catch Gabe’s eye. “Mine or anyone else’s. Deal?”

Gabe huffs a little laugh and nods. “Yeah. Okay. I’m sure there’s other stuff we can talk about. Work?”

William’s mouth twists into a moue. “You suck at this whole dating thing. What happened to the guy from Sunday? The one who spent the whole night arguing with me about everything?”

“Well, you haven’t been wrong yet tonight, so...”

Laughing, William moves his leg so that it bumps into Gabe’s foot under the table. “You’re terrible.” He twirls his own noodles around his fork and takes a bite, sighing happily. “Ryland and Alex have the worst taste in food. This is so much better.”

“What’d they make you eat? I mean, you’re the guy who likes cafeteria food.”

“The cafeteria has decent food. They were all about fast food once they took me off the nutrient drink.” He shudders and makes a face. “Explain to me who goes from stuff that’s supposed to boost my system to fast food.”

“Maybe they were confused about the difference between preservatives.”

“I didn’t think about that. Or maybe they thought the best way to test it was to see if they could kill me.”

“Ah ah.” Gabe shakes his head. “No death. You broke your own rule. For that you owe me something.”

“I don’t actually own anything, unless you want the book back.”

“I could make you sit at a real table.” William’s lower lip slides out into a pout and Gabe laughs. “Right. No cruel and unusual punishment.” Gabe reaches out and touches William’s lip. “You’re beautiful.”

“I probably have tofu in my teeth.”

“Still don’t know how to take a compliment.” He traces the soft skin with his thumb, watching the movement intently. “Nothing’s changed.” Gabe’s words are almost a whisper. His heart is pounding in his chest and his head feels like it’s swimming. “Still stupidly, desperately in love with you.”

William makes a soft noise. His eyes shut, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks. Gabe’s hand moves from William’s mouth to his cheek, cupping it as William tilts his head to lean into the touch. He’s breathless when he speaks. “G-gabe.”

“I’m going to kiss you.”

“Yes.”

Gabe uses his free hand to push the table out of the way, sinking onto his knees on the floor. William rises onto his knees as well, breathing hard as they come face to face. “You’re not going home tonight.”

William nods, exhaling shakily before he speaks. “I am home.”

The simple words break Gabe’s self-control and he curves one hand around the back of William’s head and moves in for a kiss. It’s different than what they’ve been doing. It’s deeper and harder and it means something. Gabe’s fingers thread into William’s hair and hold tight as his other hand slides around William’s back. William arches forward, his body colliding with Gabe’s.

Gabe groans and presses closer, guiding William down to the ground. Their legs get tangled together until they move away from the couch so they can stretch out, but it’s all done without breaking apart other than for quick breaths between kisses. Bracing himself over William, Gabe shifts into the vee of William’s legs, and William moans roughly at the contact as he arches upward. Gabe grinds down slightly, intent on kissing him, not wanting to go too fast. Not wanting to rush things and lose the moment.

“Fuck,” Gabe gasps against William’s mouth. “Fuck, I’ve missed you. So much.” He bites at William’s lower lip and sucks on it before sinking into another kiss. He lowers himself on top of William and deepens the kiss, his hand cupping the back of William’s head again. They move together like lovers, William bending to Gabe’s pressures without hesitation, anticipating them. “William. Fuck.”

William slides his arms around Gabe, hands moving from Gabe’s hips to his shoulder blades, holding him close. One leg wraps around the back of Gabe’s and he initiates the next kiss, his tongue wrapping around Gabe’s so he can suck on it. Gabe whimpers, the sound caught deep in his throat, and tries to get closer still. When they break apart, William’s breathing roughly and Gabe steals hard, hot kisses between gasps, unable to stop.

“Need...” William arches upward again, searching for friction. Gabe presses down against him, rocking their bodies together. “Want. Fuck, Gabe. Please.” He doesn’t say anything else, though he does start thrusting upward, his leg tightening around Gabe. Gabe moans and buries his face against William’s neck, tasting sweat from his damp skin.

William’s hips stutter as Gabe licks the length of his throat then bites at the curve of his jaw. He doesn’t wait to see the soft red marks on William’s skin, just drops his head again and repeats the gesture. William makes a throaty sound and tilts his head to give Gabe better access. Gabe takes advantage, working his way down, sucking hot spots on William’s skin before he gets low enough, then sinks his teeth into the juncture of William’s neck and shoulder.

“Gabe!” William gasps, his hips jerking upward. Gabe grinds down against him, circling his hips so his dick slides along the length of William’s. “G-god.”

Gabe bites him again, sucking this time before he scrapes his teeth over William’s skin. William is shivering beneath him and his eyes are closed, his head thrown back and his lips parted. Gabe wants to freeze the moment to make it last forever, but instead he shifts forward and kisses William hard, losing himself in the taste of William’s mouth.

His mind catalogs everything – the few bites of Thai overlaying the slight coolness of mint, the heat, the smooth slide of his tongue against William’s teeth. Gabe’s fingers tighten on the back of William’s head and he can’t stop, his tongue fucking into William’s mouth. William gives as good as he gets, and Gabe’s hips rock in the rhythm of their kisses, their bodies grinding together.

William groans when Gabe pulls back, tightening his arms and legs to pull him against him again. “Where are you going?”

“I just...I’m hating the fact that I put everything I bought upstairs.”

“I swore I taught you better than this.” William moves his hands to catch Gabe’s shirt and tugs it loose from his slacks, urging it up Gabe’s body. Gabe unbuttons the top button and lets William slide it off over his head. His whole body jerks when William’s fingers make their way back down his chest, nails scraping against Gabe’s nipples. “We don’t need all of that.”

“We do if I want to fuck you. And _I_ taught _you_.”

William’s eyebrow goes up, but he doesn’t say anything in response, too busy undoing Gabe’s belt. Gabe tries to shift back to give him more room, but William’s legs are wrapped around him like a vise. “You taught me some things.” He looks at Gabe through his lashes as he finishes with the belt and undoes the button on Gabe’s slacks. “Other things just came naturally.”

Gabe grabs William’s hands and pins them to the ground, kissing him hard as Gabe’s hands tighten around William’s wrists. “Cocky little shit.”

“Pretty sure that’s what you said right before I blew you the first time.”

“Definitely what I said the first time I blew you.” Gabe thrusts down against him, the silk of his boxers sliding against William’s slacks. William’s breath jerks and his head falls back, hitting the floor with a thump. Gabe releases one of William’s wrists and slides his hand down to squeezes William’s dick. It’s hard against him, just as thick and impressive as Gabe remembers. Dreamed about. Missed. “G-god, William.”

“Enough foreplay.” William bites Gabe’s lower lip hard and then thrusts upward, using the momentum to push Gabe over onto his back so he can straddle Gabe. He’s over Gabe’s waist, looking down at him, not touching him now that he’s in the superior position. “Take off your pants.”

“The soul of a romantic.”

William leans down and kisses Gabe hard and sharp, biting his lower lip again. “Quit talking. Get naked.”

“Bossy little...”

William gets to his feet in one smooth motion and Gabe starts to protest. William ignores him, moving to Gabe’s feet and pulling Gabe’s shoes off, tossing them aside then grabbing the ankles of Gabe’s slacks and jerking them down his body. Gabe laughs and tries to help, wriggling them down his thighs as William keeps tugging. When they’re finally off, William gazes down at him, eyes hot. Gabe feels his chest tighten. More than anything the look makes him realize it is William inside there. Nothing artificial about him.

He opens his mouth to say something and William shakes his head. He tugs his own shirt over his head and tosses it aside as well. Gabe sees the scars, silver and pink in a maze down William’s abdomen, but his eyes don’t stay on them, too busy following William’s hands down to his waistband. William’s fingers are long and adept, and Gabe wants to feel them on his skin. He palms his own dick through his boxers then cants his hips upward to push them down.

William’s gaze drops to Gabe’s crotch and he licks his lips. Gabe’s whole body shudders and he squeezes the base of his cock to find some semblance of control. William undoes his pants and pushes them down along with his boxer-briefs. Gabe bites his lip as the rest of William’s body comes into view.

“F-fuck.” Gabe squeezes his dick again, refusing to come immediately like some teenager. “Come here. Need...” He reaches up and traces his fingers along the length of William’s cock, tracing a half circle along the ridge. William’s cock jerks at his touch, the tip slick and wet. Gabe sits up and grabs William’s hips, holding him still as Gabe licks the head. He sucks his tongue back into his mouth, holding the taste on his tongue before he lets out a gasping breath.

William crashes down to his knees and pushes Gabe onto the floor, kissing him hard. It’s uncontrolled, both of them incapable of stopping. Sharp teeth and thrusting tongues, hips colliding and cocks sliding, skin slick and wet as they fall into a desperate rhythm. There’s nothing skillful about any of it. All Gabe cares about is feeling William, all of him. He hooks his legs over the back of William’s knees to keep him as close as possible. His nails scratch lines down William’s back before he fists his hands in William’s hair. Their teeth crash together with their kisses, and Gabe can feel the heat of the rug burning into his skin.

He’s not sure when he comes or which of them comes first. The heat and wet of their orgasms takes time to penetrate and both of them slow to a stop at some point. Gabe’s lost all track of time. All he can focus on is the feel of William’s forehead against his and the heat fanning on his skin as William tries to catch his breath.

“T...t-to-told you.”

“Hmm?” Gabe murmurs.

“Didn’t need the stuff you bought.”

“In a year or two when I recover we will, and you’ll be glad I went to the drugstore.” Gabe’s voice is breathless, like he can’t actually draw in air because his chest is too full already. He manages to open his eyes, William too close to actually bring into focus. “Welcome home.”

**

When he wakes up the next morning, William’s head is on his chest, one leg thrown across Gabe’s body. Gabe pinches himself on the thigh, just on the off chance he’s dreaming, then closes his eyes again. His thigh hurts, and nothing’s ever felt better.

William’s hand moves, tracing small paths up and down Gabe’s chest from his nipples to his navel. “You’re thinking too loud.”

“I’m not thinking. I’m feeling. Feeling really good.” He strokes his hand down, settling it in the small of William’s back. “I’m also a couple hours late for work. You think I’ll get fired?”

“Mmm. Probably not. Of course, if you’re late, I’m late. And it’s very likely my boss will fire me.”

“Oh?” Gabe nuzzles William’s forehead. “What makes you think that?”

“I think he has some sort of dastardly plan of keeping me right where I am.” William tilts his face up and Gabe kisses him, slow and deep. He rolls over until William’s underneath him and kisses him again, pulling back just enough to breathe William’s warm breath. “See?”

“Your boss is very, very smart.” Gabe steals another kiss then groans as his phone rings. “I should never have let them create that damn home telecommunication network.”

“Just be glad you didn’t go for the televised option.” William kisses him then pushes Gabe off, getting up and walked naked to the bathroom. Gabe watches him go, waiting until the door is shut to answer his phone.

“ _What?_ ”

Dana’s voice is dry and flat. Gabe doesn’t know what he did to deserve her, and he’s not sure if it was something good or bad. “You have a meeting in half an hour.”

“With?”

“The eastern European consortium. Again. Since you keep blowing them off.”

“I gave them a tour!”

“And that’s almost exactly like business.” Gabe’s not sure how it’s possible for Dana’s voice to get drier, but she manages. “Now you have 25 minutes.”

“I hate you.”

“I’ll have coffee and snacks ready when you get here. Don’t wear the green tie. It doesn’t look good. Ask Mr. Beckett if you don’t believe me.”

“You’re smiling. I can tell.” Gabe gets out of bed and goes to his closet. He almost pulls the green tie off the rack, but then thinks better of it. “I thought that went against everything you believed in.”

“You didn’t deny it. 23 minutes. See you soon, Mr. Saporta.”

“ _GABE._ ” He hears the line disconnect with a soft whoosh of sound about the same time the shower cuts off. “This is not how my morning was supposed to go. I was supposed to stay in bed and then shower _with_ you.” He points at William as he comes out of the bathroom. “Instead I have to rush to a meeting with a bunch of men who never smile and force me to speak a foreign language.”

“Adversity is good for you.” William goes into Gabe’s closet and picks out a pair of slacks. “You want to carpool?”

Gabe makes a face and him and goes into the bathroom. “I miss doors that _slam_.”

“You wake up grumpy.” William calls out. Gabe resets the shower dial and lets the first blast come out hot enough to turn his skin red immediately. After that he dials it back to his normal temperature and drops his head under the spray. He doesn’t have time to jerk off, and he sure as hell doesn’t have time to make William climb in with him and let him have the morning he planned. He snaps off the water and opens the door, staring at the back of William’s head as he brushes his teeth.

“Getting used to this is going to take a while.”

“I brought you coffee. That should help.” He nods toward the cup and rinses his toothbrush. “Just the way you like it.”

Gabe steps up behind him, his damp chest against William’s bare back. His voice is deep, rough with emotion. “I missed you so much.”

William looks up and meets Gabe’s eyes in the mirror’s reflection. “I’m really sorry I got shot and mostly died.”

Gabe closes his eyes and rests his forehead on William’s shoulder. “I’m going to be late for my meeting.”

“Yeah.”

He catches William’s hips in his hands and turns him around, sliding his hands around to undo William’s borrowed slacks. “Might as well make it worth it.” He pushes the slacks and underwear down and boosts William up onto the counter.

“Ah! Fuck, that’s cold!” William gasps as Gabe sinks down and wraps his mouth around William’s dick. “N-not cold. Oh, fuck.” Gabe hears his head hit the mirror and when he looks up, all he can see is the perfect arc of William’s body. He slides one hand up his chest and rubs his thumb over William’s nipple, listening to him gasp again. “G-gabe. Fuck. G-god.”

Gabe tightens his mouth around William, tongue trapping William’s dick against the roof of Gabe’s mouth. His cheeks hollow out as he sucks, stroking the underside of William’s cock with his tongue. William’s hands scrabble for purchase at the edge of the counter and Gabe can see William’s knuckles go white as he holds on, supporting him as his hips cant upwards, his ass coming off the marble.

Swallowing around him makes William’s grip slip, and Gabe hears his head hit the mirror again. William groans, the sound half-pain and half-pleasure. Gabe slides his hands up William’s bare thighs, hair rough against his palms and takes him deeper, feeling the hard push of William’s dick against the back of his throat. His nails dig in and he works his hands around to William’s ass, pulling him as close as he can. William groans again, a shudder running through him in the seconds before he comes. Gabe keeps working him, swallowing around him, holding him deep.

William eventually pushes him away, his body twitching with sensory overload. Gabe pulls back, the wet sound of William’s dick sliding from his mouth nearly masked by Gabe’s heavy breathing. He reaches for William’s hands and tugs him down, straddling Gabe’s thighs as he leans back, resting his ass on his heels. It’s easy to work the towel loose at his hip and tug it out from between them. His dick is achingly hard, curving up and pressed against his stomach.

Gabe can feel a wet drop of pre-come sliding down his shaft as William reaches behind him without looking, tugging one of the drawers out and digging inside it. As far as Gabe’s concerned, it takes too long for him to get the condom, and every second of William’s long, talented fingers stroking it on Gabe’s dick is too much.

“Fuck. Fuck, William. Just...just fucking...” The phone rings in the distance and Gabe grabs William’s hips hard, knowing he’ll leave bruises as his fingertips press into the skin.

“Don’t even think about it. Want...fuck, _need_ to be inside you.” He urges William forward, up Gabe’s hips until he’s against Gabe’s cock. “Come on.”

William rises up just enough for Gabe to guide his cock against the crack of William’s ass, running the head of his dick against him until he feels the tight muscle against him. He keeps hold of William’s hip with his free hand and urges him down. William’s body is tight and when he pushes inside, Gabe’s moans roughly, his mouth falling open.

“G-gabe. Oh...” William gasps, his body tight for what seems like forever before he’s rocking down onto Gabe, sinking around him. He’s hot, and all Gabe can feel is the burn of friction. It’s just the right side of hurting as he presses up, his thighs taut as he thrusts deeper. “Oh, f-fuck...It’s...oh.” William’s hands tighten into fists at his side and then he’s kissing Gabe, biting and hard.

Gabe keeps pumping his hips upward as their teeth crash and clack together and William starts riding him in earnest. His muscles ache and burn, but he can’t stop moving, doesn’t want to stop. He holds William’s hips and thrusts, desperate in the rough slide inside him. William is panting into his mouth, his hair falling around Gabe’s face in steam and sweat-soaked streaks. Gabe can’t hear anything over his own pulse, the desperate beat of it in the base of his cock. There’s a distant buzz and the murmur of William’s voice and then an explosion of silence as Gabe’s body jerks up in one last thrust and he comes.

William slumps back, easing off of Gabe’s cock and sliding down his thighs to sit on the floor. Gabe groans and shifts position, stretching out his legs before he falls back and stretches out on the floor, his head on the bathmat. “Fuck.” His voice is barely there, a harsh whisper.

William nods and lies down beside him, kissing Gabe’s shoulder. Gabe glances down and William’s eyes are closed, though his breathing is still stuttered. He strokes William’s hair, every muscle in his body feeling like rubber. William breathes against Gabe’s skin. “I love you.”

“I never stopped,” Gabe murmurs, tugging William even closer.

**

Pete is waiting in the garage in front of Gabe’s parking space. Gabe lowers the window and raises his eyebrows. “I’m going to be even later if you don’t get out of the way.”

Pete huffs and moves, letting Gabe pull into the spot. He opens the door before the car stops and glances at his watch. “You’re an hour late.”

“Not quite an hour.” Gabe gets out of the car and stands there, waiting for Pete to move. Pete does, but he doesn’t look happy about it.

“Not quite an hour late for your _second_ meeting of the day. Over an hour and a half late for our meeting.” He glances over as William gets out of the car. “Hi, Bill.”

William waves and heads inside the building. Gabe watches him go then shakes his head and turns back to Pete. “Tell me you brought coffee with you to this bitch session.”

“You don’t deserve coffee. You deserve a month without coffee.” He points at Gabe as they start walking. “And don’t you _dare_ tell me why you’re late. No one wants to know.”

“Liar.”

“You have a bunch of disgruntled eastern Europeans who don’t understand why they’ve been ignored. I don’t want them to hear rumors that your unexpected and important business call with Japan headquarters was actually a booty call.”

“No one says booty call anymore, Pete.” Gabe tosses his arm around Pete’s shoulder and hugs him close, breaking Pete’s stride. “Besides, it’s not a booty call if you’re in it for more than just sex.”

“I’m not hearing any of this. None of it.” Pete pulls away and keys open the door from the garage. “You’ve got ten minutes before Dana lets them into the conference room. You’d better make it good or they’re going to take all this personally.”

“I always make it good, Wentz.” Gabe winks broadly at him before ducking into the board room and heading straight for the coffee. He can hear the gathered group through the door and singles out voices and languages. Victoria’s his language guru, even though he’s got a passable tongue in most of the ones they do business with. He fits his translator into his left ear and takes a deep drink of the coffee. Dana always manages to make sure it’s the perfect drinking temperature. He thinks it’s highly likely that she’s magic.

Victoria enters the room from the corridor opposite the one Gabe came through. “You’re late.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“But you got laid, because you’re smiling in earnest. I’ll thank William. You should thank me.”

“Thank you?”

“Yes. Because I got the numbers on the new communications technology we introduced them to last time. And they’re amazing, which proves we’re the investment they’re meant to be making. So. Thank you, Victoria.”

Gabe bows in her direction. “Thank you, Victoria. I’ll defer to you then and let you run this thing. I’ll be the figurehead. Sit here and be gorgeous.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. Not about the figurehead. The gorgeous part. Though I have to give you credit for actually _not_ wearing the green tie.”

“You hurt me, you know. One of these days my ego’s not going to be able to take the way you treat me.”

She snorts. “The day your ego isn’t strong enough to withstand me insulting you is the day I resign from this place. You’re at least 98 percent ego.”

“It’s that two percent that you abuse, my dear Ms. Asher.”

“Gabriel, the only person that has the power to wound you is William, and don’t think we don’t all know it. Now, go open the door and smile at the nice shareholders.”

“What on earth did I do to deserve you?” Gabe asks as he does as he’s told.

“I don’t know,” Victoria admits with a shrug, though she follows it with a wicked and knowing smile. “But it must have been something very, very good.”

**

He’s not sure what he’s expecting when he goes down to the garage at the end of the day, but relief washes through him when he sees William leaning against the car. His legs are crossed at the ankle, and he’s looking at Gabe expectantly. “You changed the key code.”

“Factory issued. I actually just haven’t changed it yet.” He uses the fob to unlock the doors. “You ran out on me this morning.”

“At work. Not when it counted.” He doesn’t move and Gabe walks up to him, crowding close. “How did your meeting go?”

“Not bad. Not great, but I recovered from the delay nicely.” He moves even closer, nudging at William’s legs with his knee. William uncrosses his ankles and lets Gabe slide his knee between his legs. “Speaking of recovery...”

“I have to work late. Adam and Andy need some help on their current project. Not sure when I’ll be done.”

“This is totally unfair. Let me fire them and then you won’t have a reason to stay.” He kisses the tip of William’s chin then nuzzles the cleft of it. “Please?”

“It’s a wonder you haven’t been sued, you know that?” William pushes Gabe back and straightens up. “Go home.”

“Come home. When you’re done.” It’s almost a question, and Gabe doesn’t care that he probably sounds like he’s pleading with him. He probably is. “Please?”

“I’ll have to stop and get some clothes. You’ve put on weight. Your pants are too big.”

“Lies. Filthy, slanderous lies.” Gabe kisses him hard. “Promise.”

“I promise. Though I’m not sure what you’re so worried about.” Gabe shakes his head and takes a step back. William’s smiling, but it fades as he looks at Gabe. “Gabe?”

“There were a lot of nights you didn’t come home.” He shrugs the words off lightly, trying to keep any emotion from creeping into his voice. “I know you don’t remember any of them, but every single one is still with me. And...and I don’t want...” He shakes his head and swallows. “Just don’t stay too late, all right?”

William reaches out and touches Gabe’s jaw, tracing it back and then cupping his nape, tugging Gabe in and kissing him. It seems to last forever and Gabe’s reluctant to pull back when William lets him go. “I won’t stay too late. And maybe this weekend we can get my things out of the apartment.”

“And put them back where they belong?”

William nods. “Yeah. I’ll get the key to a company car from Pete or Marcus.”

“And you’ll wake me up when you get home.”

He smiles and Gabe’s chest tightens at how beautiful a sight it is. “And what’s the likelihood of you actually being asleep?”

“You want odds or percentages?” Gabe smiles back at him and takes another step back. “I’ll see you at home. Soon.”

“Soonish.” William takes Gabe’s hand in his and squeezes. “Sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah. Not soon enough.” Gabe tugs him in and kisses him again then steps back to let him leave. He climbs in the car, not watching to watch William go. He drives home and tries to sit and work on catching up on paperwork, but ends up pacing around the house. It’s too much like just after the shooting. Too quiet and too empty.

He turns on the TV and forces himself to sit down on the couch. He stares at the screen, but doesn’t actually see anything, just lets the noise fill up the silence. He’s not sure how long he’s been sitting there when there’s a knock on the door. He bolts to his feet and hurries over. William’s standing there, looking tired but happy, his eyes widening as Gabe grabs him and pulls him into a tight hug.

“Hey. I missed you too.”

“Don’t stay late. I’m not good at it.” He tugs William into the entryway and looks him over.

“I promise, no gaping wounds or anything. All my circuits are on-line and working.” He smiles and ducks his head so he’s looking up at Gabe. “Hey.”

“I kept waiting for the phone to ring and someone to tell me something had happened to you. Kept thinking that it was all happening again, only this time I wasn’t even going to be there.”

“I’m all right, Gabe.” William kisses him softly, letting Gabe take control of the kiss and deepen it, aggressive and needy. “I’m right here.”

“I know. I know. I know exactly how ridiculous I’m being. I was sitting here, figuring it out to the 35th decimal point. It’s not even a similar situation. It’s just...” Gabe blows out a breath and steps back, putting some distance between them. “When I heard your voice the first time. The first...second time. I thought I was dreaming. I thought my mind was messing with me, giving me new words of yours to hear in my head. And then you were real, and everything _hurt_.”

“I don’t think it was anyone’s intention to hurt you.” William crosses his arms over his stomach, not quite defensive, but closed off all the same. “Alex or Ryland’s. And certainly not mine. When I...woke up, for lack of a better phrase, nothing had changed for me. All that mattered was you.”

Gabe looks away, unwilling to see the look on William’s face in addition to hearing the soft pleading and confusion in his voice. “I know that.”

“But you still think it’s some sort of conspiracy? Some sort of trick? That I’m a robot in disguise, playing the part?” His voice has gone flat. “Someone’s sick joke?”

“No. Fuck, no.” He meets his gaze and shakes his head. “I’m afraid I was dreaming. I _am_ dreaming. That I’m going to wake up and you’ll still be gone.”

“So you’re going to live the rest of our lives worried that every night the door’s not going to open? That I’m going to go out for groceries and never come back? You’re going to be too busy living in fear that I’m _gone_ that I might as well not be here?”

“Don’t say that. I need you here. I want you here.”

“Then trust me. Trust us.” A small smirk twists William’s mouth. “How many times have I said that to you? The first time when you were afraid I’d think you were using your position to get in my pants. When you were afraid people would think that I only got the job and got to where I was because I was fucking the boss. Now that I think about it, every time you don’t trust us, it’s because you think I can’t make my own decisions.”

“That’s not true. Jesus.” Gabe snaps. “This is about the fact that I thought you were dead for a really long time.”

“Well, I’m sorry I inconvenienced you!”

“You are such a fucking _asshole_.”

“If I am, I learned it from _you_!” William’s voice is raised to compete with Gabe’s. “Because before you I was just a smug little shit.”

“You still are!” William stares at him then starts laughing, and Gabe can’t help but join in. He’s breathing roughly from yelling, and laughing just makes it harder, but he can’t stop. “Come here. Please?”

“I shouldn’t.” William takes a step forward anyway. “I should go back to the apartment and make you suffer.”

“You wouldn’t suffer?” Gabe asks the question softly, but he can’t quite keep the tension out of his voice.

“I’ve been suffering every night until last night. In my world, I was never _gone_ , so it was like I woke up one morning and you didn’t love me anymore.”

“I never stopped.”

“To me you did. And I couldn’t figure out how to fix what happened, because I honestly didn’t have any intention of dying that night. I planned on going home and...and seducing you with a really good bottle of booze and then fucking your brains out. Or getting my brains fucked out. One or the other. I wasn’t picky. And instead of waking up in the afterglow, I woke up in a lab hooked up to IVs and wires and electrical systems.” He exhales a shaky breath. “You’re not the only one afraid that you’re dreaming. Maybe I’m still in some sort of vat being boiled and baked back into a real person. Maybe I’m in a fucking coma somewhere and you’re afraid to pull the plug. Maybe I’m in _hell_ , because I feel like every time I get closer, you’re further away.”

“I’m not.” Gabe takes a step forward and stands in front of him. “I’m scared. We’re both scared. But we’ve always been better together. Like...Batman and Robin.”

“I haven’t worn tights in ages.” William manages a small smile and ducks his head slightly to try to hide it.

“Orville and Wilbur. Sabin and Salk.”

“Laurel and Hardy.”

“Ouch. Which one am I?” Gabe touches William’s mouth, thumb rubbing his lower lip. “Never mind. I’m not sure I want to know the answer to that.” He pulls William’s lip down slightly before leaning in to kiss him. “I’m sorry I’m such an ass.”

“I’m used to it.”

“You are such a...apologizing to you is an exercise in self-restraint, you know that?” He kisses him again. “One of these days I’m not going to hold back.”

“You’re going to punch me?” William cocks an eyebrow and tilts his head.

“No. I’m going to remind you to respect your elders.” He tugs William closer and wraps his arms around him. “Maybe a good solid spanking.”

“Are you trying to persuade or dissuade me here?”

Gabe laughs and kisses the tip of William’s nose. “I’m not quite sure yet. I am, however, starving, so can we go make some food?”

“Robots don’t eat.” William lets Gabe grab his hand and tug him toward the kitchen.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to oil you up tonight.”

**

“Gabe?” Gabe blinks in the darkness, trying to figure out if he’s awake or still dreaming. He feels a soft touch on his chest and tries to focus on William leaning over him. “Gabe?”

“Mmm.” He reaches to pull William against him, frowning before he even touches him. “You’re burning up.”

“Yeah. I’m hot. And cold. And sweating. And shivering.”

Now that he’s a little bit more awake, Gabe can hear the strange rasp in William’s voice. “You’re sick.”

“I’m not sick. I don’t get sick.”

“Everyone gets sick. I got that flu bug from Pete two months ago. You remember the vomiting.”

“Don’t talk about vomiting.” William sounds like he might vomit himself if Gabe mentions it again. 

“Okay, well, let’s remember the you taking care of me part instead.” He smiles even though William groans under his breath. “And everyone’s had the cold that’s going around.”

“I didn’t. I didn’t get the cold or the flu bug.” 

Gabe sits up, pushing the pillows against the headboard before he leans back against them. He reaches over and snaps on the bedside light and looks at William. He’s flushed with bright red spots on his cheeks. His eyes are glassy and bright. “You’re right. You didn’t. You were the only one who didn’t get the flu bug.”

“See? I don’t get sick.”

“So why are you sick?” Gabe ignores the alarms going off in the back of his head, trying to stay calm, since William looks like he might shatter or burst into flames at any second. 

“I don’t fucking know.” William groans again and buries his head in his pillow. “But kill me.”

“That’s not funny,” Gabe snaps. William doesn’t make a sound for a long time, and after a while, Gabe has to relent, reaching out to stroke his hair. “You want me to call a doctor?”

William shakes his head, turning it to the side so he can look at Gabe. “Maybe Ryland or Alex.”

“It’s just the flu, William.” Gabe touches his forehead. “I’ll get you some water to drink and some aspirin. We don’t need them. You’re human. Humans get the flu.”

He nods, and Gabe tugs him into his arms. He’s burning up, his skin slick with sweat. Pressing a kiss to his forehead, Gabe lays him back against his pillows. William shivers and reaches for the covers, tugging them up to his neck.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

“I don’t think I can even lift my head. No trips in my future.”

Gabe tugs on a pair of sweats and heads down to the kitchen, getting a glass of water, the aspirin, and some orange juice. He starts a pot of coffee for himself and gets his phone. It’s too late – or too early – to call, but he doesn’t feel bad about texting. If Ryland doesn’t have his phone shut off, he’s got no one to blame but himself.

“William’s sick. Should I worry?”

He leaves the coffee rumbling and heads back to the bedroom, holding William up and helping him swallow the pills down. He sips the water and makes a face, but guzzles down the orange juice before he grabs Gabe’s hand and makes him hold the cold glass against William’s forehead. His phone vibrates in his pocket and he eases William back down. “I’m going to get you a cold wash cloth. Be right back.” 

He goes into the bathroom, not turning on the light until he’s inside. Light hurt his eyes when he was sick, and if William does have the same flu, he’s probably got some of the same symptoms. He runs the water, letting it get cold, and pulls out his phone.

“Depends. Symptoms?”

Gabe rolls his eyes and wets the washcloth, wringing it out. He carries it in to William and lays it across his forehead. William doesn’t react, his eyes closed and his breathing rough, but even. Gabe strokes William’s cheek then heads out of the bedroom, dialing Ryland’s number before he even reaches the stairs.

“Flu-like. Fever. Shaking. Chills. Says he’s cold and hot, sweaty and shivering. Gave him some water and aspirin and orange juice. He’s sleeping again now.”

“Hello, Gabe. I’m fine. Thanks.” 

“Your welfare isn’t what’s worrying me right now, so stop pretending like you really think I give a shit about how you’re doing and why you’re awake at two in the morning, and tell me what I need to do.” He gets to the kitchen and pours himself a cup of coffee, taking a deep breath and inhaling the smell before his first sip. “And tell me he’s going to be okay.”

“Have you considered that he might have the flu?”

“When I actually fire you, it’s going to be a beautiful day in my life.”

He doesn’t know if Ryland hears something in his voice or if he’s been researching and finally found some information, but Ryland suddenly gets serious. “It’s probably just the flu. His immune system isn’t something we could really test. I would think the cybernetics would counteract a lot of diseases. Nanobots tend to be good for that sort of thing like they were in the cancer research that the company did ten years ago. But he’s more human than cybernetic, so he’s likely still susceptible to colds, the flu, that sort of thing. Maybe it has a longer incubation period because his body’s trying to hard to fight it off.”

“So is it worrisome or not?”

“I’m not sure,” Ryland’s voice is dry, and he’s obviously irritated. “Let me look it up in his user’s manual. Oh, wait.”

“I’m a little paranoid, what with the fact that he was _dead_ for the better part of a year.”

“I know.” Ryland sighs and then yawns, trying to mask it and failing. “Keep an eye on him for a couple of days. Treat it like the flu – fluids, rest, that sort of thing. If he’s not getting any better in two days, bring him into the lab and we’ll run some tests. If he is getting better, let it run its course, then bring him into the lab.” Another yawn and this time he doesn’t try to hide it. “Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.” Gabe rubs his forehead. “Thanks.”

**

The next time William wakes up, he nearly brains himself on the counter trying to get to the toilet. He misses and Gabe assures him he wanted to buy new throw rugs anyway. He’s smart enough not to call them throw-up rugs, since William looks miserable as it is. He rolls up the rug and pushes it to the side then gets out of his sweats so he can guide William into the shower. 

He keeps the water cool and gets William all cleaned off. It’s difficult to maneuver with William leaning heavily on him, but he manages. Drying him off is a feat of acrobatics, and in the end, Gabe just lifts William up and carries him to bed still damp. William falls asleep before he’s even in bed, so Gabe tucks him in and then goes to clean up the bathroom. It’s only fair, given the mess he’d left for William to clean up when he’d been sick.

Gabe calls Dana and has her clear his meeting schedule, telling her that William’s sick and he’s going to be working from home. She refuses to let him dodge three of the meetings that can be done by phone conference because she hates him or has more business sense. He thinks it might be both. She very tactfully doesn’t tell him to stop thinking with his heart or his dick, which means he probably owes her a raise.

Ryland comes over the second day with some instruments that make Gabe slightly queasy. Ryland makes a slight nod toward the door and Gabe leaves the room. He doesn’t want to go, but William’s barely conscious and Gabe’s not sure how much wetwork he can handle seeing. Theory and labs and test models are one thing. William is something else altogether. 

He’s in the kitchen with fresh coffee brewing when Ryland comes downstairs a good half hour later. Ryland stops and watches Gabe chop up a carrot. “Are you _making_ chicken noodle soup?”

“Yes.”

“From scratch?”

“I bought the stock. I’m _nervous_.” He uses the knife to scrape the orange circles into his palm and then carefully pours them into the pot. “So make me feel better, because I’m an awful cook, and I’m probably more likely to poison him than heal him.”

“I ran some tests.”

“I know that, Ryland. I have a very sharp knife. Don’t make me kill you.”

Ryland goes over to the coffee pot and pours himself a mug, sipping it. “You may suck as a cook, but you make decent coffee.” 

Gabe turns and points the knife at Ryland. “Talk. Now. Because you’re making me really really nervous.”

“He’s got the flu.”

“The flu.”

“Yes. The actual flu. With the fever and the shakes and the vomiting and probably diarrhea at some point. He’s going to feel like shit for a while, but even the miracle of modern science can’t do anything about that. Even the cybernetics amongst us must suffer this cruel and really disgusting fate.”

“When you’re being William’s doctor, don’t remind me that you considered being a drama major. It’s less than reassuring.” Gabe puts the knife down and grabs what’s left of the carrot, taking a bite and chewing on it. “The flu. You’re sure.”

“I’m not going to lie to you, Gabe. Even if you have a knife.” Ryland takes another drink of his coffee. “He’s human. Susceptible, just like the rest of us. He likely had a resistance to the last strain and not to this one. Lots of fluids, lots of rest. That’s what he needs.”

“The flu.” Gabe exhales, releasing a breath he thinks he’s been holding since William woke him up. “Just the flu.”

“Plus his body is integrating the cybernetics more and more as time goes on. It’s been a good six months. As they become more a part of him, he gets...more human, if that makes sense? His body is functioning more like it used to as the foreign pieces become part of him. It’s like people after they’ve used a prosthetic device for a while. Less an outside object and more a part of the body.”

“Six months.” 

“What?”

Gabe shakes his head. “Six months have gone by?”

“Well, four since you got your head out of your ass, but yes. Six.”

“Shit. It feels like it’s been just a couple of weeks. You’re sure?”

“Okay, if you’re going to doubt my medical diagnoses as well as my time-keeping skills, I’m going to just go.” He drains his coffee and rinses the cup in the sink. “I expect that I’ll hear from you again when he comes down with the common cold.”

“You’re an asshole, Ryland.”

“I know.” He bows slightly. “Bring him in for a checkup once he’s feeling better, and I’ll run a full diagnostic course, okay?”

“Yeah. Thank you.” Ryland heads for the door and Gabe follows him, holding it open while Ryland shrugs on his coat. “I mean it, Ryland.”

Ryland smiles at Gabe and nods. “I know. And your boyfriend’s sick, so I’m cutting you some slack. But if you’re going to keep questioning my professional judgment, I’m going to be hurt, and you’ll have to buy me a present to make me feel better.”

“I already put the order in for the new quantum overthrust accelerator.”

“Gabe Saporta, you’re my hero.”

“Whatever, Blackinton. Get off my property.”

**

Gabe stops in the doorway and smiles, watching William stare at the chessboard. “Your move. I feel like death.”

“Yeah, but you suck at chess, so you’re not.” Pete moves his pawn and makes a face at it. “No, wait. I suck at chess. Maybe you are death.”

William closes his eyes for a moment and then looks at the board again, making his move. “You do suck at chess. So why did you bring the board?”

“You like chess.”

“I like playing chess against people who like chess and who are good at it. You are neither of those things.” He takes the board and moves it to the other side of the bed. “Gabe’s aware I don’t need a babysitter, right? I’m fine.”

“You just said you feel like death. I’m pretty sure that’s not ‘fine’.”

“I still don’t need a babysitter. I’m recovering from the flu. The Cajun Death Flu of Doom, but still, just the flu.”

“I know that. And you know that. But he keeps getting hung up on this thing where you died and he was sad.”

“No offense, Pete, but you were there the night I died and it didn’t stop it from happening.”

“How is that supposed to not be offensive? You basically just told me I suck at my job.”

“No one else got killed, so you only suck a little bit.”

Pete flips him off. “I was trying to be nice. Come and spend some time with an old friend now that he’s not contagious and likely to give me the death-plague.”

“You came to see Gabe.”

“That too.”

“You two are like siblings.” Gabe rests his head against the door jamb. “Seriously, I expect a slap fight any minute.”

“He’s not allowed to slap me. I’m sick.” William fakes a cough, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead and swooning as best he can while balancing the chessboard on his legs and given the amount of pillows behind his back. Pete pokes him in the side and William gasps, jerking upright and sending the chess pieces scattering. “Hey!”

“What?” Pete tries to look innocent, but he can’t help smiling.

“You still lost.”

“I can’t lose. We didn’t finish the game.”

“Children, children.” Gabe comes over to the bed and flops down next to William, nudging Pete’s hip with his toes. “Don’t make me separate you.”

Pete sticks his tongue out. “Don’t think I don’t know you play favorites.” He shoves Gabe’s feet away and stretches out across the foot of the bed. “Did you read the report?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“And I don’t want to talk business.” Gabe tugs William against his chest and kisses the top of his head. “I’m tending to the sick.”

“Well, Florence Nightingale, someone’s got to run your company, and Victoria’s on a business trip so, as CEO, you’re the next in line.” He pokes the center of Gabe’s bare foot then dodges out of the way when he kicks out in reflex. “I’m certain William can survive a couple hours alone if you come into the office. I’m not sure the company can if you don’t.”

“God, you’re such a downer.” Gabe rolls off the bed and goes to his closet. “You realize if I let you talk me into going in, I’ll never actually get out of there. They’ll graft me to my desk. And don’t tell me they can’t do it.”

“I promise not to let Ryland come near you. Just come to work.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Gabe grabs a dress shirt and tosses it on the bed, tugging off his t-shirt and tossing it on the hamper. He lifts up one arm and sniffs, wrinkling his nose. “Do you think I should shower again?”

“When was the last time?” Pete asks, grabbing William’s ankle and using his other hand to wiggle his toes. “And I can’t smell you from here, if that matters.”

“I can’t smell at all.” William tries to pull his foot away from Pete, squirming a little. “That tickles, asshole.”

“You’re my hostage until I get him out of here. Therefore I’m torturing you.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s against the Geneva Convention.”

“I didn’t sign anything.” Pete wiggles another toe. “Hurry up, Gabe, or I’m going to be forced to play ‘this little piggy’ and go wee-wee-wee all the way home.”

“No kinky sex on my bed.” Gabe pulls on his shirt and starts buttoning it. “Unless I’m involved too. Can I wear jeans?”

“Does that mean we can leave in the next five minutes?”

“Yes?”

“Then yes. Jeans and tennis shoes. Go commando for all I care. Let’s just go.” He scrapes his fingernail down the center of the bottom of William’s foot and gets kicked in the face for his trouble. “ _Ow_!”

“Serves you right,” William smirks.

“He’s right. You deserved it.” Gabe leans in and kisses William slow and warm. “See you tonight. Call if you need anything.”

“Don’t call,” Pete warns William, shaking a finger at him with one hand and holding his nose with the other. 

“C’mon, Wentz. Let’s go.”

**

“He gets a clean bill of heath.” Ryland sits down across from Gabe and crosses his feet at the ankles, his legs almost reaching Gabe’s desk. “I sent the data to you. No damage to the system. In fact, he seems to be back at 100%.”

“I know. He’s working like a madman.” Gabe frowns. “I liked having him at home better, but apparently he’s got something against being a kept man.”

“I really don’t want to know about your sex life. You’re my boss. It’s creepy. Hell, it’d be creepy even if you weren’t my boss.” Ryland smiles and gets up. “I’m going to start working on the McKinley project. Thanks for approving the funding.”

“William’s team made it clear it should be a priority. That’s the other reason he doesn’t get to stay home. He’s too damn smart and too good for my bottom line.”

“Again with the sex talk.” Ryland waves as he leaves the office, saying something as he passes Dana’s desk that makes her laugh. One of these days Gabe’s going to have to figure out the trick to doing that. 

He pulls up the file Ryland sent and skims through it, pretending he understands half of it, and feeling comfortable with the results of the other half. He closes down the file and starts his music, buckling down to catch up on work he’s missed. He put out some fires when Pete dragged him in, but there are less urgent matters that have worked their way up to demanding his attention. 

The next time he looks at his watch, it’s seven at night and everything but the lamp on Dana’s desk is turned off in the reception area. He frowns and glances at his computer to make sure the time is right. He gets up and makes his way across the building until he reaches William’s office. No one’s there, so he heads to the lab room his team uses for brainstorming. 

William’s at the table listening to Mike and Tom argue, picking at a piece of pizza and trying not to smile. It hasn’t escalated to name-calling, but it’s something the two of them are known for so Gabe knocks on the door and lets himself in. Everyone settles down and William does smile. 

“Hey. I heard there was pizza. Any left for the boss?”

“I imagine we can spare a slice.” William flips the box around for Gabe to grab a piece. “Mike and Tom were catching me up on things.”

“Really? Looked like they were pulling each other’s pigtails.” Gabe turns a chair around and sinks onto it as he takes a bite of pizza. “What’s going on, boys? Ryland told me he’s getting the McKinley project underway, so I know you’re past that. Tom? Your team?”

He listens as Tom tells him what his team is working on, watching Carden out of the corner of his eye. The competition between them is good and mostly friendly, but since William’s been back and they don’t have to play nice to head the division, they’ve been sparring more frequently and more sharply. Carden ignores Tom and makes notes on the tablet in front of him, his stylus moving quickly. William’s taking notes of his own, though his memory makes it almost unnecessary. 

“Carden? What about you?”

Mike’s recap is short and to the point. Tom’s not loquacious by any means, but Mike is terse compared to him. He doesn’t try to press opinion, merely states the facts. It’s not the best technique for selling, but they’re both good at letting the product or plan speak for itself. It was strange with them in charge of the division since William’s approach was charm to throw people off and then close the deal before they were even really sure what they’d agreed to. 

“So where do we go next?”

William takes over, offering Gabe a more concise comparison of the two directions. It’s clear that he’s strongly interested in both, but one of them is going to have to go on the back burner. He hasn’t decided which if his non-committal recap is any indication. Gabe finishes his pizza as William talks then wipes his mouth on a napkin he steals from Mike. 

“I’d like to see the figures and any test protocol you have. You guys think you can have something compiled for me by noon tomorrow?”

“Nine.” William agrees. “It’ll be in the folder on your desk.”

Gabe nods and jots a note down on his tablet. “Okay, well, I know you guys probably have a lot of work to do, but you’re going to have to do it without your boss. He’s still recovering and he looks like he’s going to pass out any minute, so I’m pulling rank and taking him home.”

“Gabe,” William’s voice carries a note of warning, which Gabe decides to ignore.

“I’m not taking no for an answer. You can come back to work tomorrow, and these two will probably still be here arguing, but you will be well-rested and showered and hopefully fully recovered.”

“I’m not a child.”

“No, but you are stubborn and work too hard and are likely to make yourself sick again by trying to catch up all in one day. And, again, pulling rank. Say goodnight, Tom and Mike.”

Tom waves and Mike nods, both of them turning their attention to their work and their pizza. William glares at Gabe as he gets up, heading to his office without a backward glance. Gabe follows along, arms clasped behind his back and whistling. 

“Keep it up and I’m going to punch you.”

“As long as you do it on our way home.” Gabe sits on the edge of William’s desk as he gathers his things. “I know I’m being overprotective. I know it’s not necessary, and I know it drives you crazy. I know we’ve talked about it, and I know I’m still annoying you with it, but I’m kind of invested in keeping bad things from happening to you, and if that means I have to drag you home to get some sleep, then I’m going to do it. And I’m not going to apologize for it.”

“See if I give you any pizza next time.”

Gabe shrugs. “I can live without pizza. I can’t really say the same about living without you.”

**

William’s test come back normal, just like Ryland said they would, but Gabe can’t help being overly attentive for the next month. William spends most of the time rolling his eyes. He keeps threatening to fall down and get a bruise or cut his thumb with a knife just so Gabe actually has something to be worried about. He also reminds Gabe that if Gabe keeps smacking him every time he says that, he’s going to end up bruised and in pain just from that.

Gabe’s gotten used to everyone giving him shit and humoring him, which Pete informs him is only because he’s the CEO and William was sort of dead; otherwise they’d stage an intervention. Gabe glares at the ‘sort of dead’ comment, but lets it slide, since it’s mostly true.

The humoring stops when Victoria shows up in his office with a data tablet and a determined look. “We’ve got an amazing opportunity, and we’re going to have to work our asses off to get it and keep it, so suck it up that your boyfriend had the flu and read this.”

He takes the tablet and reads, his eyebrows going up and up. “You’re kidding me.”

“Nope. I got it from a friend. Not insider trading, before you make that slanderous insinuation. He’s a reporter and he’s heard rumors. He can’t publish anything yet, and I’ve offered him a scoop if we get what we want out of it.”

“We know these people, Victoria.”

“Yes. Yes, we do.” She grins, and it’s sharp and predatory. He loves her a lot. 

“How much time do you think we have?”

“Not long. Maybe a month, but I think less than that. We need to assemble a team. All the best in the company. But not William.”

“He’s one of the best.”

“I know. But I want an outsider to be able to look at it with a critical eye. Bring his number twos in and let them help. He can see beyond his own scope of work and view it as a whole. We need that unbiased perspective.”

Gabe blows out a breath and then nods. “Have Dana set it up. We’ll start tomorrow in the main conference room with the data we have, and then we’ll modify as it goes. Put in a call to your people in Japan and see what you can get from them? Dates at least. We’re not looking for exclusives here, we just want right of first refusal if we can finagle it.”

“Done and done. We’ll meet over lunch and assemble a team?”

“Bring your list of who you want on it and we’ll compare. I’ve got two meetings this morning, but I should have time to put something together. I imagine they’ll be similar, so I’m not too worried.”

Victoria nods and heads for the door. She stops before she opens it and turns back to face him. “This is huge, Gabe.”

“It is.”

“This is _it_. What we’ve been working for, isn’t it?”

“It’s not everything, but it’s a huge leap forward. So let’s make sure we get it right.”

**

Gabe’s up to his elbows in paperwork, trying to read and comprehend while Japanese TV plays in the background. He should turn it off, since part of his concentration is going to translating it, but he likes hearing US sitcoms in other languages. It makes reruns a little more tolerable.

“I don’t see why we’re here.” Victoria is sprawled on Gabe’s bed, half-watching the TV and picking at her sushi. “We could have easily done this over the connection.”

“They want our physical presence. It’s not every day we get permission to create an operating division and factory in a foreign country.”

“You mean one that doesn’t exploit the local populace under the guise of progress.”

“I’m working with the international counsel on that, Lahoya. What more do you want from me?” He smiles as she flips him off. “I’m leading by example, and we all know everyone wants to grow up and be me.”

“Mmmm. Whatever. So why did you drag me along with you? I expected you to bring Beckett for a wild week of debauchery.” She guides a hamo sushi deftly from her plate to her mouth with her chopsticks. “I know it embarrasses you when he eats with a fork, but they’ve had enough Americans over here that they’d probably forgive him.”

“You’re hilarious. He can’t fly.”

“Will he short-circuit?”

“He’s dead. They tend not to honor passports of dead people.” Gabe’s voice is flat and dry. He knows it’s not Victoria’s fault – she hadn’t thought about it, if the look on her face is any indication – but reminding himself of the cold, hard facts of William’s existence is something he’s gotten over doing in the past eleven months of them living together. He’s even stopped tracing the minute scars on William’s back that hide the base of his spinal non-organics. “It’s a thing.”

“Sorry.” She sits up. “I didn’t think.”

“I know. It’s hard to think of him as dead when he’s wandering into your office at all hours.” Gabe shrugs and turns back to his reader and uses his stylus to initial another point so Rob can approve that part of the final contract. “Of course, if you wore skirts that didn’t show off your legs, he probably wouldn’t do that.”

“Right. Like he notices my legs. I think the last time he came in he didn’t even realize I was in the middle of changing my shirt. I had to point it out to him when I re-explained the concept of knocking _and_ waiting for a reply.”

“Was it about the Meterson coil?”

“Yes. I haven’t seen someone that excited over an induction process since...well, never. Hell, the last time I saw anyone that excited over _anything_ was when Aaron and I...well. That’s none of your business.”

Gabe snorts. “Anything you can do, I can do better.”

“I’d remind you of about seventeen different things, but then we’d have to watch you try and compare dick size with me, and I hate to see a grown man cry.” She grins wickedly and puts another bite of sushi in her mouth, her eyes daring him to make a comeback.

“I could just whip my dick out.”

“I have toys bigger than your dick. Hell, I probably have fingers bigger than your dick.”

“Such a bitch. Good thing you’ve got brains.” Gabe tosses one of the couch pillows at her.

She bats the pillow away, sending it back in his direction, though it falls on the floor at his feet. “Well, I guess that’s a change from people saying it’s good that I’ve got tits.”

“I’m sure anyone who’s brave enough to mention your tits is probably either sucking them or fucking them, so...well, I’ll pass.” She sticks her tongue out at him and he does it in return. “You’re such a professional.”

“Says the man talking about fucking my tits.”

“Gay man, so I get a pass.” He leans forward and passes the reader to her. “Does this sound right to you?”

She takes it and reads through it, her brow furrowing. “No. There’s something wrong here. I just can’t quite put my finger on it. Hang on.” She reads it again, and he watches her appreciatively. While the fact that she’s gorgeous works to their benefit a lot of time – people almost always underestimate her when they first meet her and, amusingly, think she’s where she is for the same reasons he used to be wary with William in public – it often works against her. Gabe’s only ever cared about what she’s brought to the business, since she’s been there pretty much all along. “Give me the other reader. The one with Fujiyama’s proposal.”

Gabe finds it in his briefcase and hands it to her, already following her thinking. “They’re working together, aren’t they? Trying to put us in the middle of this so that we look like the bad guys.”

“I didn’t think that was their style.” Victoria frowns. “It could be coincidence. We’ll split up and talk to them, compare notes after the dinner tomorrow night.”

“We’re like one mind,” Gabe nods and reaches down to pick up the pillow. Victoria moves fast and nails him on the back of the head with one of the stiff pillows from the bed. “Ow! Hey!”

“Don’t insult me like that. I’m way too smart to share a brain with you.”

“Go away. Get out of my room. You’re mean to me.”

“You just want to call William and jerk off.”

Gabe shrugs the comment off. “Well, yeah. And you probably just want to stay and watch.”

She thinks about it for a moment and shrugs as well. “If the rumors about William are true, it’d be a good show at least.”

“I hate you. Seriously. I don’t know why you’re on my staff. You’re a mean, horrible person.”

“Yep.” She gets off the bed gracefully and comes over to him, leaning down and planting a kiss on his forehead. He can feel the smear of lipstick and knows there’s a very deliberate pink mark on his face. “That’s why I’m so good at what I do.”

**

Gabe spends another hour reading over the contract language before finally giving up. He’s tired from the flight and from reading, and his glasses nearly fall off when he pushes them up with his hand to rub his eyes. He lies back on the bed and squints at his watch before turning to the phone monitor. He swipes his credit chit and speaks the number, almost forgetting to add in the international code.

William’s smiling when he answers the phone, the pale winter sun creating a halo around his hair. Gabe smiles back at him. “You at lunch?”

“Depends. Is this a business call?”

“Yes and no.”

“Then yes. And no. Tell me when it changes, and I’ll be sure to report it on my time sheet.”

Gabe laughs and rolls his head, stretching it each way until his neck pops. “I’m going to send you some files I’d like you to read through. Just want to get your input.”

“Am I looking for something in particular?”

“I don’t know.” He reaches over and grabs both of his readers and forwards the contracts to William. “Later though, okay? After you get off work.”

“Do work after I get off work.” William nods. “Just another evening in the Beckett-Saporta household.”

Gabe smiles, and he knows the tiredness shows from the concern that furrows William’s brow. “Stop worrying.” He shakes his head and shifts the phone screen so he can lie back on the bed and still see William. “You’re going to get wrinkles.”

“And you’ll only love me if I’m young and beautiful.”

“Absolutely. One wrinkle and I’m tossing you out for a new model.”

William laughs, and Gabe revels in the sound. He’s never going to get tired of it. “You’ve got another one already brewing in the lab, huh?”

“Yeah. Version 2.0. All the bugs worked out.” He ticks the list off on his fingers. “No sassiness. Not grumpy first thing in the morning. Doesn’t use all the hot water. Actually starts the coffee pot when he’s supposed to. Can open a bottle of wine without getting cork in it.”

“One time! One time! And in my defense I was already really drunk because someone was trying to get in my pants.”

“I don’t have to get you drunk to get into your pants.” Gabe laughs and sighs, smiling at William. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He says it softly, and Gabe closes his eyes to let it sink in. “Don’t fall asleep on me.”

“Not. Just listening to you breathe.”

“That is so creepy. You know that, right?” Gabe opens one eye and sticks his tongue out at William. He just laughs again and leans back in his chair. “I’m going to make you stop hanging out with Pete if you don’t cut it out.”

“You’d have to deal with the pouting.” He’s quiet for a moment, and William is as well. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too. But it’s late there, and you should sleep. You’ve got a big day ahead of you, and Victoria’s going to run rampant over you if you’re not on top of your game.”

“She’s already tried.”

“And probably succeeded.” William smiles again and Gabe reaches out and traces the curve of it on the screen. “You know that’s kind of creepy too, right?”

“Don’t care. I want to touch you.”

“I want that too. Wait. Is this the part I need to be off the clock for?”

“Don’t.” Gabe shakes his head and William frowns a little again. “I don’t want to spar or banter or...anything. I just want to see you. Pretend we’re at home on the couch and you’re doing your crossword puzzle and I’m pretending I’m reading while I’m really just watching you.”

“I don’t have a crossword puzzle.” He says it lightly, his frown fading. “The house was cold last night without you. Felt cold.”

“My bed’s cold tonight.”

“We’ve survived business trips before.”

“I know.” Gabe shifts onto his back and turns his head to keep looking at William. He rests his hand on his stomach, feeling it rise and fall with his breath. “This is a long one though. And the first since...”

“And I’ll be here when you get home.”

“I know that too. I do. That’s not what I meant.” Gabe shrugs. “I just miss you.”

“Is that code for you’re horny?”

Laughing, Gabe flips William off. “I thought we were having a moment, Beckett.”

“We were. And then I lightened the mood. My boss is out of town. I could totally have phone sex.”

“You could have phone sex if your boss was _in_ town. In fact, he’d probably insist on it.” Gabe rolls back onto his side and starts to say something else, the words cut off with his yawn. “Shit.”

“Go to bed. I’ll read through this stuff and send you my thoughts. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

Gabe yawns again, which defeats the purpose of any protest he was going to lodge. “Okay. Don’t work too late.”

“I won’t. I love you.”

“Love you too. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Gabe watches as the picture fades. He knows it’s an illusion. It cuts off as soon as one of them hangs up, but the image seems to shimmer in the air for just a few seconds. Sleep seems elusive now that William’s gone, but he closes his eyes anyway. If he’s not asleep in an hour he’ll call back and get berated until he falls asleep listening to William bitch at him. Just the thought makes him smile, which makes him yawn. And that’s the last thing he remembers.

**

He has messages from Rob and William and Victoria in the morning when he wakes up, which he expects, and one from Ryland, which he doesn’t. Victoria’s is just informing him that she sent the stuff to Rob with her thoughts and she’s having breakfast in her room, so don’t even bother to come and get her until after eight. He glances at the clock and sends her a response telling her to get her lazy ass out of bed. It’s not quite seven, and he likes pissing her off. He adds a smiley face at the end though, so she knows he’s just being a dick. Not that she probably needs the reminder.

Rob’s and William’s basically say the same thing – that the contracts both look legitimate, but it’s something they’ll want to clarify in negotiations. William adds that Gabe should have Victoria watch their reactions when that part of the discussion comes up, since if they’re not working together, the wording will catch their attention too. And if they are, they’ll try to hide it by not reacting at all.

Gabe shoots back a response telling William he’s very smart, and if he’s home, Gabe would be more than happy to call and get woken up properly. He gets a response that William’s in the car, but he’ll be home in five minutes. Gabe’s first meeting isn’t until ten, so he’s got a good two hours before he even has to start thinking about getting out of bed. He sends a quick email telling William to hurry, knowing the car will pass the message on. He keys up the phone and dials home, including the code that will accept the call so he’ll be on the line when William comes in the door.

He opens up Ryland’s email while the call goes through, but he barely gets past the first line of technical data before he hears William’s voice. “Pretty sure you didn’t call me so I could watch you read your email.”

“No. Definitely not why I called you. Transfer me to the main screen in the living room. Want to be able to see all of you.”

“Watch me do crossword puzzles?”

“Nope. That’s not why I called either.” He smiles as William transfers the call, and watches as he walks into the room, shedding his clothes on his way to the couch. Gabe adjusts his own screen and shoves his boxer-briefs down, rubbing himself as William gets settled.

“You sure you don’t want me to do a crossword?” William sprawls on the couch and wraps his hand around the base of his cock. “I’ve got one right here. Five down is a seven letter word for...”

“The second I get home, I’m crawling across the floor and sucking your cock in my mouth. Going to swallow you so deep that your knees are going to give out.”

“Right,” William nods, his voice breathless. “No crossword puzzle.”

“Dunno,” Gabe laughs roughly. “We’re sort of talking about going down.”

William groans. “Gabe.”

“Eventually going to get you on the floor and finger you open wide. Four fingers wide, get you ready for me. Begging for me.”

“G-god.” William’s hips stutter and he nods sharply. “Yes. Fuck.”

“Put that smart mouth to good use, begging me for more, to stop, to never stop.” Gabe starts stroking himself, his hand moving in time with William’s. “You going to take all four fingers? Going to let me get my whole hand inside you?”

Another groan and William’s head falls against the couch back. Gabe squeezes his dick at the base to calm down slightly before he resumes stroking. His hand is sticky and slick with pre-come as he rubs his palm over the head and back down his shaft.

“You want it, William? You want that?”

“G-going...going to keep...keep sucking me w-while you do it?”

“Going to suck you and stop and suck you and stop. Take you to the edge so many times you’re going to be desperate for release. Going to fly apart with the need to come.”

He sees William hips rising, his heels pressing into the floor as he arches up. The tip of his cock is red and slick in the circle of his grip and Gabe has to lick his lips. “Yes. Yes.”

“And wh-when you can’t take any more, I’m going to push your legs back against your chest and fuck you until neither of us can breathe. Going to fuck up inside you until I come so deep, until you can’t take it anymore and come all over your dress shirt and silk tie.”

William’s feet slip slightly and he slides down on the couch, arching his back as he comes. Gabe shudders and starts pumping harder, tighter until he comes as well, falling back on the bed. “Okay,” William manages after a few minutes. “You need to end this business trip right now and come home and do that. Now. By the time your flight’s arrived, even you should be ready to go again, old man.”

Gabe laughs breathlessly. “Fuck you.”

“If you’re not ready, I guess I’ll have to.” He’s sweaty and there is come on his dress shirt, and his hair is clinging to his forehead. “Probably good we didn’t do this at lunch. I wouldn’t have been able to function the rest of the day.”

“My day’s just started.” Gabe laughs. “So much for being a highly capable, functional businessman.”

“You’re better after morning sex. When you _don’t_ get it is when you’re a complete jerk to deal with.”

“Nice. I have to be thousands of miles away to find out what you really think, huh?”

“No. I’d have told you that to your face.” He smiles and stretches, arching off the couch again. His cock isn’t hard, but it’s still thick and heavy. “Quit staring.”

“Can’t help it. Still want to suck you and lick you all clean.”

“I could not shower until you come home.” William shrugs as Gabe laughs. “Just say the word.”

“The only word I should say is ‘sayonara.’ I need to get ready to go. Need a shower to get my brain back online.”

“Love ‘em and leave ‘em. I knew it.” William’s already leaning forward to disconnect the call. “Good luck today.”

“I’ll call tomorrow again. Tell you how it went. If we don’t get distracted by this sort of thing again.” Gabe waves at the screen. “Sleep well.”

“I will. Probably right here on the couch. Getting up seems like way too much work.”

Gabe rolls his eyes, disconnects the call and heads to the shower.

**

The meetings go well and everything gets ironed out. Rob and the other lawyers are on screens when the final signing is done. Both of the parties looked entirely confused and embarrassed when the contract language gets brought up and it actually doesn’t take long at all. Gabe’s not sure if he or Victoria is more relieved or if it’s an even contest. He’s been friends with Fujiyama since college and Victoria had been an advisor on several of Hashimoto’s previous projects. 

They don’t stay much longer after everything’s worked out. Once the meetings started, they went on for hours and for days. Neither of them has had a decent night’s sleep in nearly a week, and other than quick showers they haven’t had any time alone either. Gabe’s survived on short emails from William that are filled with nothing of importance other than his sign off of ‘I love you’, which is good on two levels. One, it’s warm and reassuring, and two, the rest of the content doesn’t require Gabe to think.

He sleeps the entire way home, yawning when he gets off the plane. He hasn’t looked at his laptop or reader in two days now, and his eyes have finally stopped actively hurting and his headache has dulled to a low throb in the back of his skull. Both he and Victoria are wearing their glasses as well as sweats and t-shirts. Flying comfortable is always preferable, especially on the way home.

The car’s waiting for them when they land, and luckily Victoria’s place is on the way to Gabe’s, because if it wasn’t, he’s pretty sure he’d have made her take a cab. As it is, it still takes too long to get home. William’s asleep in one of the armchairs instead of waiting to be ravished, and Gabe can’t blame him. Instead he just shakes him lightly until he opens his eyes.

“Come on. Bed.”

“Not what you promised me.”

“I’ll deliver later. Right now I’m exhausted and so are you. So bed.” He takes William’s hand and helps him to his feet then leads them up to their bedroom. He kicks his shoes off, but that’s the most that he manages before he crawls under the covers, tugging William as close as he can before they both fall back to sleep.

When he wakes up he smells coffee and bread. His stomach growls the entire time it takes him to get into the kitchen. William’s leaning against the counter drinking his tea and there’s a plate of scrambled egg substitute, tofu, and cheese along with two slices of bread and a bowl of fresh fruit. “I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” William’s smiling when he says it, and he comes over to sit next to Gabe, leaning against his shoulder and watching him eat. “Your calendar is clear until eleven, so you don’t have to wolf it down.”

“I do if I’m going to take you upstairs and fuck you senseless. Because I have no intention of not having enough time for that.” He turns and kisses the top of William’s head.

“Sadly, I have a meeting at eight.”

Gabe turns and realizes that William’s showered and dressed. “Can’t you tell them your boss needed to see you for an emergency? Something came up?”

“No. That’s not how my boss taught me to do business.” William stands up and takes his mug over to the sink, using the sonic rinse before placing it in the sterilizer. “Dana has your schedule cleared after four, and I told the teams I can’t stay past five, since we all know you’ve got a lot of stuff to take care of after four. So I’ll meet you at the car at five. We’ll come home and commence ravishing.”

Gabe pouts. “That’s not the right answer.”

“Yes, it is.” William comes over to the table again and tilts Gabe’s chin up, dropping a quick kiss on his mouth. “I’ve got a company car, so I’ll ride home with you tonight. Have a good day.”

“I could have a better day if we could just stay home in bed!” He raises his voice so William can hear him as he’s walking to the door. “I’m going to write a complaint letter to your boss!” The door shuts and he slumps back in his seat, pouting for a moment before he realizes his food is getting cold.

When he finally makes it to work, it’s non-stop. Problems that popped up while he was gone that need his personal attention and people who suddenly need to see him, things that need his actual signature, and reports from all of the major divisions. His headache’s back by the end of the day, but the end of the day _does_ finally come and he’s heading down to the car when he runs into Ryland.

“You know,” Ryland’s voice is dry, “the whole silent treatment hurts my feelings.”

“The silent...oh. Oh, shit. Your email. I opened it, but I never got a chance to read it. Things...happened and then we got so busy. And then I didn’t look at any of the follow ups because I hadn’t read the first. I’m sorry.”

“Well, luckily it wasn’t about any imminent threat to national security or anything, but it is important.”

“Tell Dana to put you on my calendar first thing tomorrow.” Ryland looks like he’s going to protest, so Gabe shakes his head. “William’s waiting for me in the parking garage, and I haven’t had any time alone with him in two weeks. Threats to national security would have to wait too.”

**

His body clock is thrown off, so Gabe reads his emails while William sleeps. He reads through all three of Ryland’s messages, and he’s not sure what any of them mean. It seems like random data with wild swings in some of the fields. He makes a few notes then searches some files to see what Ryland’s been working on. Nothing seems worrisome, and he can’t decipher what exactly he’s looking at or looking for, so he finally closes his email and snuggles back into bed. William presses against him, and Gabe tugs him close, sinking to sleep in the warmth of his body.

Ryland’s at his desk when Gabe gets into work. Gabe waves at Dana and goes behind his desk, his eyebrows rising when Ryland shuts the door. “You sure this isn’t national security?”

“It’s not. But it’s also not entirely work related.”

“Are you in trouble again? I told you to tell Pete when it was gambling debts.”

“It’s not...” Ryland takes a deep breath, and Gabe can see him trying to calm down. “It’s not me that it’s not work related to. Or...Did you read the emails yet?”

“Yeah. I didn’t understand a damn thing, but I read them. I looked through your current research projects, and the data didn’t seem to correspond to any of them.”

“It’s not really a current research project. It’s an on-going one.”

“I get the feeling we’re talking in a code I should understand, but it’s not clicking for me, so I need you to be a little less subtle. I promise my office isn’t bugged.”

Ryland sighs heavily and looks down at his hands for a long time. Gabe’s about to say something else when Ryland looks up at him. “Those are the results from William’s last two check-ups”

“I don’t understand.”

“There’s some wide variation. Accelerated heart rate, decrease in stamina.”

“There’s been no decrease in stamina. Trust me.” Gabe’s voice isn’t as glib as his statement, and his there’s a hard ball in the base of his stomach. 

“It may be that he’s not feeling well. Has he told you anything like that?”

“No.”

“It’s probably nothing. Just a fluke. But I wanted to let you know.” Ryland clears his throat. “Just in case.”

“Just in case _what_?”

“In case it does mean something. He’s the first and only one of his kind, Gabe. We don’t know what’s going to happen with him.”

“I’ll tell you what’s going to happen with him. Nothing. Absolutely nothing, because you’re going to figure it out and _fix it_.” His stands up, and his hand shakes as he points at Ryland. “You did this. You figure it out. You fix it.”

“Gabe...”

“ _No_!” He shakes his head violently. He clenches his hand into a fist and this time his voice shakes. “You fix it, Ryland.”

Ryland stands up without looking away from Gabe. There’s something soft in his eyes, something sorrowful. “I wanted you to be aware. I didn’t want anything to be a surprise. It’s probably nothing.”

“You wouldn’t have brought it to my attention if it was nothing, and we both know it.” Gabe sits back down and leans back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. “When’s his next check-up?”

“Three weeks.”

“Then you’ve got three weeks to fix it.” He doesn’t look at Ryland at all. “Get out.” He keeps staring at the ceiling long after Ryland shuts the door behind him when he leaves. Finally he pulls up his emails again and looks at Ryland’s figures, seeing what he was supposed to see the first time. Heart rate and stamina aren’t the only things that have changed. Everything has dropped from the last testing and, when Gabe pulls up the rest of the files from Ryland’s database, he can see how significant it is from his first few check-ups. It’s only in the last two months, so he refuses to let himself worry or read anything into it.

It’s a bug or lack of sleep or something.

It has to be.

**

He works twice as hard the next three weeks, taking five overnight trips that other people could easily handle. He knows William knows something’s wrong, but he makes up excuses. He’s not sure if it’s because he’s afraid he’ll see something wrong, if William will realize there’s something wrong, or if their current level of activity is skewing William’s results. He knows the last is ridiculous given their level of activity previously, but he’s not about to take any chances.

His last meeting of the day is supposed to end just in time for him to get down to the lab and watch William’s physical, but it runs long, so by the time he makes it downstairs, they’ve already finished. Ryland is sitting in the room with William, and Gabe can’t hear what they’re saying. He watches through the glass, trying to read expressions, but he’s played poker with both of them and lost, and Gabe is an excellent poker player.

Of course, there’s a good possibility that the fact that they’re both so stone-faced is a tell in and of itself. He knocks on the lab door and lets himself in. Ryland stops mid-word as William looks at Gabe. “I missed the part where you’re half naked, huh?” Gabe tries to keep his voice light, but he’s fairly certain he fails miserably.

“You told him first.” William’s voice is flat but his lips twist in what Gabe thinks is supposed to be a smile. “Of course you did. His money, right? His investment.”

“Don’t do that,” Ryland says softly. “That’s not what this is about.”

“Does he know everything?” William doesn’t look at Gabe at all, which scares Gabe even more than Ryland’s initial announcement did.

“No.” Ryland shakes his head. “He knows what I knew last time, but I’ve done a lot more tests since then. You want me to tell him?”

“Go ahead. I’m going to go shower.”

William gets up and Gabe watches him go. He looks at Ryland, torn between following William and staying to listen. He swallows hard. “Tell me.”

“As near as I can tell...” Ryland stops and looks down at his data chart. “The cybernetics are using up twice as much energy as the organics. Or that’s how it seems to have started. His body’s breaking down bit by bit, and as it does, they’re leeching more energy from him. It’s quadrupled since last month.”

“Why now?” Gabe’s voice stays steady and he doesn’t know how. He feels like he can’t breathe, his chest in a vise.

“I don’t know.”

“Why not?”

“I’m looking for reasons. We’ve tested his blood work. We’re trying everything we can think of. He’s the prototype, Gabe. He’s...”

“ _He’s a person, not a fucking prototype_!” Gabe slams his fist down onto the table then shoves the table out of the way, sending it tipping onto its side. Ryland’s data chart skitters across the floor until it lodges against the treadmill. “He’s...he’s _my_ person.” He stands up and paces to the other side of the room, more to keep from seeing Ryland look at him.

“I know.” Ryland says softly. “He’s my friend.”

Gabe nods once, closing his eyes to keep the tears swimming in his eyes from falling, but a few manages to escape and run down his cheeks anyway. He sniffs then takes a deep breath. “How long?”

“At the current rate? About another month. Maybe longer, but not much.”

“A month.” Gabe’s not actually sure he says the words aloud. He reaches out and presses his hand to the wall to keep himself upright. He’s spent weeks avoiding William, and now he only has weeks left.

“I’m sorry.”

Gabe shakes his head and more tears burn his cheeks. “I th...think having him for another year was...will be worth...” He wipes his cheeks. “Can you go away?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Of course.” Ryland stands up and Gabe can hear him grab his data chart before he leaves the room. He stands completely still until William opens the opposite door and comes back into the lab.

“Hi.” William’s voice quavers. “He told you?”

Gabe nods, not trusting his voice.

“I tried to convince him that we should go the Robocop route and see if that took.”

“Please. Don’t.” He says it softly, but he knows William hears.

“I have to. Because if I don’t...if I d-don’t, then I have a month. A month. That’s no-nothing. Last time I wasn’t there for this part, and I don’t _want_ it. I don’t want to do it to you. N-not again.”

“Hey. Hey. You aren’t doing it. You didn’t do it.” Gabe sniffs and turns and pulls William into his arms. “This is...a chance. I didn’t get a chance last time. I didn’t get to say things I wanted to say or do things I wanted to do. I didn’t get to...to kiss you goodbye. To say goodbye. To tell you how much I love you.”

“I knew.” William reaches up and wipes a tear off of Gabe’s cheek, even though it’s almost immediately replaced by another. “I always knew.”

“I’ll take the month off. Victoria can run the company. We’ll spend it in bed. Burn up all your energy that way.”

William laughs, the sound thick with tears. “There are worse ways to go, I guess.”

“And I don’t want to talk about it. We both know it’s coming. There’s no point in talking about it. It’s not going to change anything, right? We’ll leave Ryland and Alex here to work on it, to try to fix it, and we’ll...we’ll just spend the month together.”

“I’ll have to work from home for a while. Just a day or two. Make sure Mike and Tom have instructions for what the long-term plan is. We’ve got some good stuff going on. You’ll be impressed at the next meeting.”

“No more than two days.”

“No more. The rest are yours.”

“Get your stuff from your office. I’ll tell Dana to rearrange my calendar, talk to Victoria. Then we’ll go home.”

“Yeah.” William nods. “Home.”

**

Gabe spends the last three days propped against the headboard, holding William against him. He looks beautiful still, no sign of what’s happening to him on the outside. But he can’t move much at all, and even breathing seems to take more energy than it’s worth. He hasn’t talked much at all during the week, and when he does it’s to whisper to Gabe that he loves him. Gabe would give almost anything to have him being a smart ass to him, razor sharp retorts and stinging replies. 

He offers to read to William, but William shakes his head, costing himself more of his energy. Gabe bows his head and rests his forehead against William’s hair. “Okay. I’ll just hold you.” He thinks he’s run out of tears, or maybe he can just control them because he knows it will just upset William. He’s in that position when the shaky rise and fall of William’s chest under his arms stops.

Gabe takes a shaky breath of his own and eases William onto the bed, stretching out beside him and resting his head on William’s chest. He feels the heat, but doesn’t realize he’s crying until William’s shirt gets wet under his cheek. It doesn’t stop the tears. Gabe reaches out and touches the wet fabric and rests his hand on William’s abdomen. His breath and body both shudder and he cries out, his body wracked with sobs he can’t keep in any longer.

He’s stopped crying by the time Pete and Ryland show up, but his whole body aches from it, and his head feels like he’s beaten it against the wall. Pete eases Gabe away from William as Ryland runs a diagnostic scan. The machine doesn’t make a sound, and Gabe has to close his eyes and press his head to his knees.

“Let’s get you in the shower,” Pete says quietly, getting Gabe to his feet and guiding him from the room. He can hear the doctors or scientists or whoever Ryland’s called downstairs, waiting. Gabe grabs the door frame and stops, looking back.

“Ryland.” His gaze snaps to Gabe’s, and Gabe holds it for a long time. “Please. Let me bury him this time.”

Ryland nods. “I will. I swear.”

“Thank you. And...I don’t think I ever said thank you earlier. For giving him back to me.”

“I saw your face when you were with him.” Ryland smiles, though it trembles. “That was thanks enough.”

Pete tugs gently and Gabe lets him pull him out of the room and shut the door. Gabe leans on it and tilts his head back, exhaling shakily as he stares at the ceiling. “It stopped hurting before, didn’t it?”

Pete shakes his head. “No.”

“That’s what I thought. I miss him already, Pete. He just...stopped, and I started missing him. It’s not fair.”

“I know it’s-” Pete jumps as Gabe slams his fist into the mirror, cracking the glass and causing a few shards to rain down on the counter top. “Gabe.”

“Losing him _twice_ isn’t fair.” He knows he looks awful – his face red and his nose running – and he’s distorted further by the shattered glass. “I barely made it the first time.”

“But you did. And he’d want you to now. To lose him twice you had to have him twice. And it was an amazing year, right?”

“Yeah.” Gabe nods and more tears fall, even though he thought he was cried out. “But I wanted more.”

“I know.” Pete turns on the faucet and guides Gabe’s hand under the water, carefully wiping away any slivers of glass and trickles of blood. “I know you did. I’m sorry.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

“I know.”

“I wasted so much time.” Gabe watches the blood rinse away, the water fading from red to pink and then clear. “That’s what I thought about when it got toward the end. How much time I wasted.”

“Don’t. Think about all the time you had. That’s what matters. In the long run you remember what you had, not what you didn’t. That’s what he’d want.”

“I want...I want him back.” Gabe moves his hand so the water stops. “I’m going to shower. Make...We made the arrangements. Will you...”

“Yeah. I’ll take care of things. And I’ll call your dad.

Gabe nods and closes his eyes, exhaling a long sigh. He’s exhausted and wants to curl up under the covers and soak up the last of William’s warmth, even though he knows it’s all gone. “Thanks, Pete.”

**

It takes six months before Gabe can go back into the bedroom for anything other than his clothes. His dad took care of everything, stripping the bed and cleaning. He walks to the bed and sits on William’s side, touching the pillow. His hand clenches in the fabric tight enough that the muscles of his arm quiver. He forces himself to let go and starts to stand up, stopped by the book on the nightstand.

It’s worn and battered by William standards, the gold title embedded in the cloth binding. _The Gates of Dawn_. He opens it and shakes his head as a piece of paper falls out. William’s sharp scrawl twists something in his chest.

“Don’t read it. You’ll hate it.”

Gabe laughs softly, and it’s the first time he’s laughed in what feels like forever. He shifts and lays down, head on the creases he made on William’s pillowcase. He doesn’t even make it through the first chapter before he puts it down.

William was right. He does hate it, but he’s never letting it go.

**Author's Note:**

> Though it's not an official BBB entry, this fic was inspired by an amazing manip made by someone on Tumblr. You can find it [here](http://windowatkirkland.tumblr.com/post/66141851665/i-know-im-like-a-machine-but-i-still-have-dreams). Seriously, how amazing are these people? Just really fucking amazing, right?


End file.
